What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions
Since the Final Four is now set and the odds say the team you were cheering is on the bus headed back home, we here at Dubsism feel compelled to keep you informed as to which teams you should not be behind. In today’s installment, we explore the reasons why the Duke Blue Devils don’t deserve your support.
The first one is easy.
1) Duke sucks.
If the day ever comes when somebody can crowbar Coach K’s cock from Dick Vitale’s throat, ESPN might actually discover basketball exists outside of Durham.
2) Nobody can spell or pronounce Mike Krzyzewski’s name.
Really, is there really a need to have two Zs, a Y, and a W in any name? Unless he needs a built-in bazillion-point Scrabble word, perhaps the coach should buy a damn vowel.
3) Two Words: Christian Laettner.
Actually, Laettner just represents a long line of Duke players who we, to be honest, just got sick of hearing about. Seriously, don’t you just want to puke everytime you hear names like Shane Battier, Luol Deng, or (gasp) J.J. Redick? Even Duke fans know it.