Dubsism

What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions

Hating Mike Krzyzewski Postponed Due to Baseball

Why do they always put the NCAA basketball Championship game on baseball’s Opening Day? This forces many sports fans to into a choice as to which great sporting they will watch; the beginning of the best sports seasons in America or the culmination of one of its biggest events. In any event, the fact that I stuck with Opening Day means I’m a bit late to some needed hating on Mike Krzyzewski.

Naturally, resident ESPN analyst and personal Krzyzewski fellatrix Dick Vitale just can’t understand why there is all this Duke hatred out there.  Let’s see if I can clear this up for Dicky V.

Fark Rule #1: Duke still sucks. Regardless of the day or its events, I could never miss that. Of course, this also means the Mike Krzyzewski is still one of the most dislikeable people in all of sport. He runs a program that loves to be elitist; the arrogance of Duke knows no bounds. For example, now that Duke has won its fourth national title under Coach Krybaby, Dukies are mistakenly calling him the greatest basketball coach of all time.

Granted, this accomplishment ties Coach K with Kentucky legend Adolph Rupp, but in terms of titles doesn’t even get him halfway to the Wizard of Westwood, John Wooden. UCLA’s 10 NCAA championships under Wooden represents one the most unlikely marks in sports to ever be equaled.  As far as professional coaches go, the comparison can’t be made as Coach K has never coached in the NBA. Even if he does take the New Jersey Nets up on the offer to lead that sorry franchise, Coach Krybaby is never to going to come anywhere near the greatness that is Phil Jackson.

But Jackson need not worry as that’s only one reason why Krzyzewski isn’t going to leave Duke. The most obvious reason is power. Let’s be honest, in Durham Coach Krybaby has all the trappings of an unquestioned ruler. College basketball is a coaches’ game and coaches can dictate like they could burn the Reichstag anytime they wanted to, which is the exact opposite in the NBA. In the professional ranks, the players’ salaries lap those of coaches, the players have a union, and coaches with an authoritarian style don’t last long.

The real reason Marinus Van Der Lubbe wouldn't go to Duke.

It really is a bit sad that Krzyzewski won’t go to the NBA. I rarely watch the NBA which means I likely would never have to see that stupid “four more years to Gene Keady” combover on top of Coach K’s face, which always has a look on it like he just sniffed a used jockstrap.  But I would make it a point to tune in to see the Coach Krybaby press conference as he is getting grilled by the New York media as to why his team sucks, if for no other reason than to see Krzyzewski deal with tough questions rather than the usual idolatry to which he is accustomed.

The Keady Combover: Asphalt does in fact make an excellent hair product.

But the saddest part is we may never get to see Krzyzewski on the receiving end of something he really deserves…succumbing to his inevitable fate, pulling one of his usual screaming tirades and getting P.J. Carlesimo-ed.

About J-Dub

What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

2 comments on “Hating Mike Krzyzewski Postponed Due to Baseball

  1. Jimmy
    April 7, 2010

    haha! By far the funniest thing I’ve read in awhile! I just came across this randomly.

    I am also getting sick of the NCAA having a complete hard on for this Duke team. It always seems like they are high in the rankings, when all they play is cub-cake reg season games. Then when it comes to tourney time, they get an even easier bracket! Unreal!

    What a waste of a national championship.

    Like

  2. Pingback: MLS Player Ratings: Philadelphia Union 3-2 D.C. United (Goal.com) | Sports Headlines Today

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This entry was posted on April 7, 2010 by in Basketball and tagged , , , , , , , .

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