What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions

Does This Mean CC Sabathia Will Get a Speeding Ticket on the Way to McDonalds?

Leave it to CNN to screw up and cause a controversy. It seems as though the world’s first all-news cable network pulled a gaffe of plus-size proportions when CNN’s Headline News, while covering a story about people getting all pissed about somebody making a spoof of a Lane Bryant ad, mistakenly ran the spoof during their coverage of the story. 

For those of you who aren’t familiar, Lane Bryant is a store that caters to the larger ladies out there; therefore it is easy fodder for the predictable “fat” jokes. In this case, the screen on the model’s cell phone was doctored to announce the return of the McRib Sandwich. Of course, she then is shown bolting out of the house in just a robe, ostensibly in a hurry to get to the nearest Mickey D’s. 


As soon as I saw the supposedly controversial Lane Bryant commercial yesterday, my first thought was to wonder how many guys would dive into the easy jokes here. Of course the irony is that the same guys who are slinging the jokes would totally make it with that model and wouldn’t give a shit about her “extended size.”  

That’s why I think Lane Bryant should use models that guys DON’T find attractive. We are easily confused, and sending the mixed message of a chick who is kinda hot shilling for the fat chick store just promises to lead to problems. In order to avoid this, Lane Bryant should consider using the following people as spokesmodels: 

Mark Mangino 


Face it, since he got canned at Kansas, the former football coach could use a job. Besides, he clearly understands the concept of the expandable waistband, the value of extra-long rise pants, and that big girls can still lead an active lifestyle. 

John Madden 

To celebrate his new modeling contract, Madden ordered a sandwich "this big."

Here’s another ex-coach not currently employed, but it certainly seems retirement is treating Madden well (at least gauging by what has to be a size 64 sport coat).  Just imagine the energy Madden would bring to what would otherwise be just another dreary clothing sale.  

CC Sabathia 


Think of the marketing possibilities. Lane Bryant could have all kinds of tie-ins to the Yankees on this one. Obviously, there’s the girthy Sabathia and his even more obvious need of a relaxed fit; but there’s also the chance to get A-Rod in an ad during the annual swelling of his ovaries, or perhaps even a line of Joba Chamberlain plus-size training bras for his fellow chubby teen girls.

Seriously, and no bullshit here…is the McRib really coming back (loosens belt a notch)?

About J-Dub

What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

One comment on “Does This Mean CC Sabathia Will Get a Speeding Ticket on the Way to McDonalds?

  1. EG
    April 24, 2010

    You can’t mock CNN for lack of research when you’ve clearly done none of your own.

    These two links are a good starting place.



    And you can’t scold HTL for taking low hanging fruit when you yourself use the word “plus-size” for comedic effect.



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