Dubsism

What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions

Where The Shutdown Corner And Dubsism Disagree

Trying to read what Brett Favre is going to do is nearly impossible, unless of course you are one of the approximately 300+ people who have picked off his passes. There’s a very good football blog called The Shutdown Corner which tried to do this with Brett Favre’s press conference announcing that he would return to play with the Minnesota Vikings is 2010. On the other hand, we here at Dubsism took a somewhat different approach.  While we do agree with the Shutdown Corner’s assessment that there were seven very telling quotes from King Brett I during this presser, we have a very different interpretation of what they really mean. As is so hard to read Favre and his estrogen-soaked inability to stick to a decision, we here at Dubsism spent the past few weeks really breaking down the tape so as to get the most accurate translation possible from Favr-ese.

7) “There’s nothing left for me to prove. I’m here to have fun.”

What the Shutdown Corner Says:

He constantly reiterated that he had nothing left to prove by returning to football, a self-fulfilling prophecy if there ever was one. That was a response to a question nobody asked. I don’t think people have ever believed Favre has something to prove. Why the defense mechanism? As for the “I’m here to have fun,” line; did John Madden write this speech? The funny part is that Favre delivered the line without a trace of humor or irony. It was just one of a dozen or so lines that suggest he has little sense of self-awareness about his “Hamlet in a helmet” routine.

What Dubsism Says:

It is really hard to underestimate the importance of the absence of the word “win” in this statement. I’ve been saying since the beginning of this fiasco the entire raison d’etre for Favre being in a purple uniform is that Viking fans are soooo desperate for a Super Bowl win they are willing to ignore all the warning signs that Favre’s days of winning are long behind him.  Besides, he does have something left to prove, but he apparently doesn’t seem to get it. See, sports fans now equate success with the number of championships you’ve won. I think that is a complete crock, but all you need to do is tune in any sports-talk radio show and you will be bombarded with it. If that is the measure, then Favre is every bit the quarterback as Trent Dilfer, Brad Johnson, Mark Rypien, and both Mannings.

6) “I was even amazed [at how I played last year]. To think that I could surpass that this year? First of all, I don’t need to. Because as well as I’ve played, by far the best I’ve ever played in my career, it wasn’t enough … Part of me said, it was such a great year, it would be easy to say, you can’t play any better, why even try?”

What the Shutdown Corner Says:

Favre’s presser was a lesson in expectation management 101. Whether it’s because he believes he won’t be as good as last year or because he wants to cover himself in case he’s not doesn’t matter.

What Dubsism Says:

This quote is at the same the one that makes we want to parachute into the middle of downtown Minneapolis just so I can do a huge “I Fucking Told You So” dance right in the faces of Viking fans and makes me pity them so much I couldn’t bear to rub their horns in it. He might as well just say flat-out his winning days are over.  First of all, when he makes reference to “the best I’ve ever played,” he is referring to the fact he had statistically the best season of his career. That should be yet another red flag for fans of the purple; statistics are for losers. Are Saints fans running around talking about how many touchdown passes Drew Brees threw? Of course not, they have no need of such number-spouting because they won. Plus, let’s give the Vikings the “Net Difference Test,” which is to say what were the Vikes before Favre compared to what they were after him. Before King Brett I, the Vi-queens were a division winning team that couldn’t win a road playoff game. After Favre, the Vi-queens are a division winning team that can’t win a road playoff game.  That’s a major problem insofar as a guy who is saying he played his best and yet made no appreciable difference, then says he can’t play any better is admitting he isn’t the guy who can get the Vikings over the hump. After all, unless you are the Cowboys this year, the Super Bowl is a road playoff game.

5)  “My wife always says I look at things negatively more than I should.”

What the Shutdown Corner Says:

One gets the impression that Deanna wasn’t as on board with this decision as she has been in the past. Favre also mentioned that his family will be happy when he finally stops playing.

What Dubsism Says:

When you have a sure-fire Hall-of-Famer worrying what about his glorified truck-stop waitress of a wife thinks when it comes to career decisions, you have to question why he bothers wearing a cup. Why bother protecting what isn’t even there? Let’s be honest, if it weren’t for King Brett I’s football money, she still would be slinging hash for guys wearing “Peterbilt” belt buckles somewhere along Interstate 55, and her idea of a romantic night out would be getting nailed in the back seat of a four-door car. Honey, if the guy wants to play football, let him; that’s what is keeping you in acid-wash jeans and Skoal. Oh, then there’s the whole “negative attitude in your team’s leader” syndrome. One of the primary roles of a quarterback is to be a cheerleader; the guy who says “Fuck it all, we can do this!” He is not, repeat not, supposed to be the guy who says “My balls are in my wife’s purse, so I gotta ask her.”

4) “No one is deserving or worthy of all the attention. Heck, I’m not.”

What the Shutdown Corner Says:

If you buy that Favre believes he’s not deserving or worthy of all the attention, then you probably were surprised that he’s coming back to play.

What Dubsism Says:

I couldn’t believe somehow that quote didn’t get truncated somehow. Is he serious? How can anybody buy that coming from a guy who couldn’t have orchestrated a better way to get the entire football world hanging on his every Wrangler-selling word?

3) “It really came down to when those guys [Hutchinson, Allen, and Longwell] were like, ‘hey if you can do us one favor.’ Now that’s a pretty big favor.”

What the Shutdown Corner Says:

This was a recurring theme during the presser, Favre sounding like a man who came back to football not because he wanted to, but because it was expected of him. Was it all another act in the 40-year-old’s ongoing melodrama, the one in which he plays the role of quarterback-turned-martyr, sacrificing his retirement for the good of the teammates he loves? Or had Favre set his sights on retirement, only to be pulled back in by a team who knew that the path to the Super Bowl couldn’t be navigated by Tarvaris Jackson?

What Dubsism Says:

This is the one case where Shutdown Corner was absolutely on the right track, but he may have stopped the train a wee bit soon. First of all, there is the inclusion of serial drunk-driver and fellow stat-whore Jared Allen on the squad to go “convince” Favre to come back. If that self-absorbed, over-rated windbag is amongst the leadership of your team, you’re dead to start with. Then there’s the part of this that nobody is willing to touch…the Vikings drafted Jackson to be their “quarterback of the future,” but never gave the guy a chance or the tools  to do so. Brad Childress knew he was drafting a “project” from the single-read offense at small-school Alabama State. To know that, all one has to do is read Childress’ quotes he gave to the St. Paul Pioneer-Press

“I think you judge quarterbacks a little bit differently…When you see what you want at the quarterback position, you need to go get it. And that’s exactly what I see with Tarvaris Jackson is a guy that’s a piece of clay, that has all the skills in terms of, No. 1, what’s he look like throwing the football?…He’s got a great throwing motion; he’s athletic. He has all those things that we’re looking for, and he’s wired right. That’s important for a quarterback. I think he’s a flatline guy. I think he’s a sponge. You’re talking about a guy that never had a coach there as a quarterback coach. So what can he do with coaching?”

The trouble is we are still waiting for the answer to that question since Minnesota hasn’t seen a talented coaching staff  since Bud Grant. Really, one has to consider all this attention driven toward Favre has also been an effective smoke-screen for Brad Childress’ ineffectiveness as a coach.

2) “People are making trips down to Hattiesburg and it was sincere stuff. The things I was hearing, the letters I was reading, the billboards I was passing, I just felt like I owe it to this organization to give it one more try. I have no idea how it will pan out, but all I can promise you is that I’ll give my best.”

What the Shutdown Corner Says:

They had no comment on this one, and I understand why…

What Dubsism Says:

…because the sheer assholery in that statement is completely off any known assholery scale. This guy has such an inflated sense of self I’m amazed he doesn’t need a special helmet in which to fit his over-sized head. Who the hell does he think he is to say “I felt like I owe it to this organization.” Owe what? Another season of false promises wrapped in yet another layer of Favrian failure? If you doubt that, go back to #3, and re-read the line about “…do us a favor. Now, that’s a pretty big favor.” Again, what favor is he doing anybody? Making sure the Vikings alienated the guy they drafted to train for the future? Making absolutely zero net difference? Or is it that you are gracing us with another year of your bullshit?

1) “I can promise you this, not that I had ever set out as a goal to play 20 years, but 20 years and I’m done. This is the last year of my contract.”

What the Shutdown Corner Says:

Yes, he outdid himself and actually retired for 2011 minutes after declaring his intentions to play in 2010 (he’s truly the Michelangelo of waffling.) But there was something different about the way he said it Wednesday. He seemed to be anticipating retirement, a sentiment you never got even after he faced the media following his crippling interception in the NFC championship.

What Dubsism Says:

Sure, he is the Michelangelo of waffling. I’d rather he was Roscoe-ish on chicken and waffles. As far as football goes, of course he seems more genuine about the end of his career. Look at how many “all-in” bets there are on the table here; every one of which on its own can kill this little purple fantasy. First, there’s the Vikings as a franchise; they mortgaged their future betting on Favre bringing them a championship. Then there’s Brad Childress; if the Vikes don’t win this year, he’s certainly on the “hot seat” if not out of job entirely. Then there’s the NFL in total; all the signs point to their being a work stoppage in 2011. The only one who isn’t “all-in” is Favre, his contract is up after this season, and if the whole league is locked out in August, what does he care? His decision has been made for him.

About J-Dub

What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

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This entry was posted on September 6, 2010 by in NFL, Sports Media and tagged , , , , , , , .

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