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What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions

Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Colored Turf UPDATE

Sadly, this crap is coming back to light.  Just this past weekend, College GameDay did a piece on the Smurf Turf at Boise State, and its new colored counterpart at Eastern Washington University. We here at Dubsism pointed this out a while back, but we just discovered a far more sinister aspect.

Apparently, blue turf kills.

The mighty Broncos of Boise State University play on the world’s only radical, other-worldly blue field. WHY??? The quality of color selection was affirmed by Mother Nature shortly after its installation in 1986 when passing flocks of migrating geese repeatedly landed in accidental mass suicides, apparently mistaking the field for a beautiful blue lake. Shortly thereafter the grounds keepers began covering the field when not in use, to prevent the aforementioned bird crash deaths and grisly clean-up efforts. No matter how many geese had to die, removing the beloved “Smurf Turf” was never considered. It was reinstalled in 1996, then replaced with identically colored AstroPlay synthetic grass in 2002.

With Smurf Turf in place, the Boise State football program has enjoyed a meteoric rise to dominance, ascending from the I-AA Big Sky conference to I-A superiority in the Western Athletic Conference in just eight short years — a huge achievement. Over the last three years, Boise State has gone 33-6 — 12-1 and 13-1 in the last two seasons — averaging 42 points per contest. That’s better than all three of the most recent National Champions USC (29-9), Ohio State (32-7), and LSU (31-9). Argue all you want that Boise State is in a weak conference. It’s trash talk coming from BCS school riff-raff afraid to lose to a mid-major.

They know, as the facts show, that Boise State doesn’t lose at home on the menacing blue field turf.

After all this, I’m not exactly sympathetic toward geese. The ones that live in my part of the world are little more than black and white shitting machines; they are little more than rats with wings. Not to mention, doies the world really need a creature than cant tell the difference between a lake and a football field. How many lakes have you seen with a 50-yard line?

Just look at those damn things. They wouldn't have a place to put a brain even if you gave them one.

If Boise State has found a way to succeed in college football and rid the world of these flying leeches, then we here at Dubsism salute you.

About J-Dub

What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

2 comments on “Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Colored Turf UPDATE

  1. Pingback: Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Colored Turf « Dubsism

  2. Pingback: Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Colored Turf UPDATE #2 « Dubsism

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This entry was posted on September 27, 2010 by in College Football and tagged , , .

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