Dubsism

What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions

I Was a Power Forward For The FBI

In today’s “strange, but true” moment, it seems that Portland Trailblazer forward Gerald Wallace may have a future as an FBI Agent. I know, the FBI and the NBA seems like an odd combination; you would think if there were a law enforcement agency infiltrating basketball it would be the DEA, what with all those cannabis cagers out there.

But as odd as it may seem, according to Fox 12 Oregon, five agents showed up at a Trailblazer practice the other day to recruit Wallace. Now, to be fair, it seems that Wallace made a public statement after his trade to Portland earlier this year that he would like to be G-Man once his hardwood days are behind him.

Federal agents swarmed Blazers practice Monday but instead of a bust, they were doing some recruiting. When the 6 foot 7 inch forward got to the Rose City, he mentioned he’d like to join the FBI when he gets done in the NBA.  So, five agents took in practice this week and encouraged the Alabama native to keep the bureau in mind.   Special agent in charge Art Balizan, assistant special agent in charge Alan Peters, public affairs specialist Beth Anne Steele and retired Portland FBI agents Bob Hanis and Dick Bittner gave Wallace an official FBI hat, sweatshirt and honorary badge.  Wallace also got a package of information about joining the FBI.

I’m not sure about Wallace’s qualifications, but were he to be accepted and become an FBI Agent, would we have to change the rights they read when they arrest you?

“You have the right to be posted up. Any attempt you make to reach in for the ball can and will be called against you. You have the right to get help defending me on the wing. Should you not be able to get help,  I reserve the right to break your ankles with my cross-over dribble-drive.  Even if you understand these rights as I have read them to you, I’m still going strong to the bucket and dunk on your face.”

If that’s the new standard for law enforcement, I wonder if Timofey Mozgov thinks Blake Griffin is a Border Patrol Agent, because that picture suggests Griffin gave him some “Green Card Surprise” right down his throat.

About J-Dub

What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

8 comments on “I Was a Power Forward For The FBI

  1. Chris Humpherys
    April 15, 2011

    That first round match-up of Wallace/Aldridge vs. Nowitzki/Chandler should be pretty tight.

    If Dallas doesn’t have their papers in order, Mark Cuban will be crying, once again, sooner than expected.

    Like

    • JW
      April 15, 2011

      I easily see the Mavericks making an early exit. I also think the Nuggets/Thunder might be a bit closer than most might think.

      Like

  2. tophatal
    April 15, 2011

    JW

    These playoffs are going to surprise a few people in more ways than one ! In the West I think that Nuggets Thunder series could be a real barn burner !

    I agree with Chris ’bout the Mavericks ! I liken that team to a roll of Charmin …… they’re soft on your skin especially when used to wipe one’s rear end !

    tophatal ………..

    Like

  3. chappy81
    April 15, 2011

    I put a bet in for Portland to win that series. Gerald Wallace might have been the biggest trade deadline acquisition for a playoff team in the West. It’s crazy Crash wants to be an FBI agent, but I could see him being a better law enforcement guy than Shaq.

    Like

  4. tophatal
    April 19, 2011

    JW

    Personally I’d like to see Wallace and several NBA refs have an open discussion on their officiating !

    See link to this story courtesy of USA Today .


    NBA keeps coaches silent on free throws for home teams

    There’s no truth to the rumor is there that the Sixers are being used as a ‘crash test dummy ‘ by the Bulls in their series is there ?

    tophatal …………..

    Like

  5. tophatal
    April 19, 2011

    JW

    Personally I’d like to see Wallace and several NBA refs have an open discussion on their officiating ! Any real chance of that happening do you think ?

    See link to this story courtesy of USA Today .


    NBA keeps coaches silent on free throws for home teams

    There’s no truth to the rumor is there that the Pacers are being used as a ‘crash test dummy ‘ by the Bulls in their series is there ?

    Boy do I feel real bad for the Pacers’ Danny Granger as he’s been playing really great for the team !

    tophatal …………..

    Like

  6. tophatal
    April 19, 2011

    JW

    Let me know what you think of the following ? Merely click on the link shown to read .

    http://tophatal1.wordpress.com/2011/04/19/shut-up-already-this-isnt-american-idol/

    tophatal ………….

    Like

  7. I wonder what Griffin had to offer in return for that head clinic

    Wokka Wokka!!!

    Meehan

    Like

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This entry was posted on April 14, 2011 by in Basketball and tagged , , , , .

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