What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions
In today’s “strange, but true” moment, it seems that Portland Trailblazer forward Gerald Wallace may have a future as an FBI Agent. I know, the FBI and the NBA seems like an odd combination; you would think if there were a law enforcement agency infiltrating basketball it would be the DEA, what with all those cannabis cagers out there.
But as odd as it may seem, according to Fox 12 Oregon, five agents showed up at a Trailblazer practice the other day to recruit Wallace. Now, to be fair, it seems that Wallace made a public statement after his trade to Portland earlier this year that he would like to be G-Man once his hardwood days are behind him.
Federal agents swarmed Blazers practice Monday but instead of a bust, they were doing some recruiting. When the 6 foot 7 inch forward got to the Rose City, he mentioned he’d like to join the FBI when he gets done in the NBA. So, five agents took in practice this week and encouraged the Alabama native to keep the bureau in mind. Special agent in charge Art Balizan, assistant special agent in charge Alan Peters, public affairs specialist Beth Anne Steele and retired Portland FBI agents Bob Hanis and Dick Bittner gave Wallace an official FBI hat, sweatshirt and honorary badge. Wallace also got a package of information about joining the FBI.
I’m not sure about Wallace’s qualifications, but were he to be accepted and become an FBI Agent, would we have to change the rights they read when they arrest you?
“You have the right to be posted up. Any attempt you make to reach in for the ball can and will be called against you. You have the right to get help defending me on the wing. Should you not be able to get help, I reserve the right to break your ankles with my cross-over dribble-drive. Even if you understand these rights as I have read them to you, I’m still going strong to the bucket and dunk on your face.”
If that’s the new standard for law enforcement, I wonder if Timofey Mozgov thinks Blake Griffin is a Border Patrol Agent, because that picture suggests Griffin gave him some “Green Card Surprise” right down his throat.