What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions

Get To Know ‘Em – Astros’ Probable New Owner Jim Crane

Yeah, I know it isn’t official yet.  But Jim Crane is set to become the new owner of the Houston Astros; hell, someday we might even officially announce it.

Houston businessman Jim Crane  and current owner Drayton McLane agreed to a $680 million sale in May.  McLane said at the time he expected the deal to gain league approval by mid-July. However, Osama Bud Selig and the geniuses who run Major League Baseball have seen fit to keep Crane waiting in the lobby flipping through old magazines.

The prevailing attitude is the deal won’t be approved until the MLB owners meetings on August 18. Naturally, that could put a pinch on any deals the Astros might want to make in advance of the upcoming non-waiver trading deadline, July 31.

However, Crane and his people have been treated like a President-Elect; they have been given access to documents and have been consulted on personnel decisions including the release of veteran Bill Hall and the firing of pitching coach Brad Arnsberg.  The expectation is they will continue to to be involved in any trade decisions even if the sale has not yet been approved.

This begs a million dollar question: If you are allowing Crane and his people a seat at the Astros’ decision-making table, it seems a safe assumption the sale is going to be approved. So why is Crane being left to idle in Osama Bud Selig’s purgatory?

The problem is twofold.  First, Jim Crane is largely unknown.  Up or down, McLane is known in Houston as “Uncle Drayton.”  That sort of familiarity engenders respect or breeds contempt, which leaves Crane in an awkwardly neutral position.

This guy knows about mustaches and Drayton McLane. Now its time to learn about Jim Crane.

That’s why here at Dubsism have dug up some facts which both will educate baseball fans about this new probable owner and doom his candidacy; it seems Selig may be holding this guy up because he isn’t the usual parasite who has been ushered into ownership under Osama Bud Selig and the rest of the MLB Taliban.

1) Jim Crane is no carpet-bagger

Unlike Frank McCourt, Jeffery Loria, and many other owners who don’t live in the cities in which they own franchises, Jim Crane has lived in Houston for nearly three decades, and has built several monstrous piles of cash there.

2) Jim Crane is a self-made man

Crane arrive in Houston from Kansas City in 1982 towing his whole life in a rented U-Haul trailer.

3) Jim Crane know how to build an organization

Crane’s first company was called Eagle Global Logistics. At it’s inception, it consisted of one employee and one truck. When Crane sold it for $300 million, it was a major player in the world of international freight with 11,000 employees and a client list including Nike, 3M, and Target.

4) Jim Crane has a loyal inner circle of friends

When you don’t know about a man’s character, look at his friends. Crane has a small circle of close friends who didn’t take the opportunity to get some cheap publicity for themselves by dropping the dime on Crane when the media was itching to get the scoop on the Astros’ new owner.

5) Crane is a baseball guy

While he was not a major-leaguer, Crane was a Division II baseball star at the University of Central Missouri in the 1970s. He was an honorable mention Division II All-American as a pitcher, notching a 21-8 record with a 2.42 ERA for UCM.

6) Crane is still a “sports” guy

Tons of high-level executives in this country can play some serious small-ball, but Crane is regarded as the best golfing CEO in the country.  You can buy a bag full of high-tech sticks, you can buy memberships at the best country clubs, but you can’t buy a swing.

If those six facts don’t tell you this guy is no McCourt or Wilpon, don’t forget this guy was in a partnership with the suddenly-popular Mark Cuban on two occasions, once to buy the Chicago Cubs and once to buy the Texas Rangers. Of course, his association with Cuban may be what sticks under Osama Bud Selig’s turban, but the baseball Taliban is running out of guys who can bail out the mess they’ve created.

About J-Dub

What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

9 comments on “Get To Know ‘Em – Astros’ Probable New Owner Jim Crane

  1. tophatal
    July 14, 2011


    Jim Crane is the type of owner baseball needs alongside the likes of John Henry with the Boston Sox , Arte Moreno with the Angels and the Steinbrenners …….. of course !

    I tell you something I found to be telling ! In a 60 Minutes interview done a few weeks ago billionaire philanthropist Eli Broad ( now a resident of Los Angeles) was asked by a beleaguered Dodgers’ fan if he’s interested in buying the team …… to which his reply at the time was ” I’ve no interest at all “ . If that’s not a sad indictment of the game and how dumb many of the current owners are then it tells you all you need to know !

    Broad knows how fuc_ed up that organization is and he’s merely an outside observer . So what was it about the events that took place (within the Dodgers’ organization) that led Selig to believe it should take almost 18 months for him to then intervene ?

    It shouldn’t surprise you that in that Crane/Cuban partnership their initial bid to purchase the Rangers was actually higher than the Ryan/Greenberg consortium bid that eventually won out . Because of Selig’s simple flubbing of the whole process they backed out in the end wherein the Greenberg- Ryan partnership were eventually allowed to buy the Rangers .

    Bud Selig and the entire MLB hierarchy are no more consummate businessmen than the cloisters of the Roman Catholic should be considered a domicile that doesn’t harbor sexual deviants and pedophiles ! Neither can or should ever be trusted to do what is actually right much less morally right to begin with !

    tophatal ……..


    • JW
      July 14, 2011

      Of course Broad wants no part of the Dodgers – he’s the guy Selig screwed over in favor of McCourt.


      • tophatal
        July 15, 2011


        Who hasn’t Bud screwed over at one time or another ? The list that damn long !

        Eli Broad , Jim Crane and Mark Cuban are amongst some of the wealthiest and shrewdest of businessmen in the country . And what has baseball got to show us in terms of the owners ? Cheap bastards like Jeff Loria , Bob Nutting , Frank McCourt , the Glass family and Lew Wolff ! And one wonders why the game is so f##ked up from a competitive and financial standpoint ?

        As to the game on Tuesday night it got so bad that I was tempted to take out a porn CD and watch it in its entirety . Instead I knocked down a six pack and went to sleep ! The players on the AL roster simply turned up to make sure that they’d get their bonus incentives from their respective teams and not to play.

        tophatal …….


  2. chappy81
    July 14, 2011

    Good stuff Dub. I really didn’t know much about the guy. I had heard of his logistics company since I work in the importing field, but that was about it.

    The only player worth keeping on that team is Hunter Pence, so other than that he could probably approve a firesale before the deadline. I hate how slow Osama runs everything in baseball. Hopefully he really does retire when he said he would…


    • JW
      July 14, 2011

      I wouldn’t mind seeing Osama Bud Selig retire the same way his namesake did, but the Seals have yet to return my calls.


      • tophatal
        July 15, 2011


        It can be arranged at and for the right price ! But I’d like for next season’s All Star Game at some point after the 5th or 6th inning a halt is called to the game , Bud and the owners are placed center field in the midst of a pack of hungry lions and we can all revel in what transpires !

        It worked well for Romans during their reign so what not apply that now ?

        tophatal ……….


  3. ChrisHumpherys
    July 15, 2011

    Look at you, knocking out a post on your birthday.

    In lieu of writing on July 13th, I was drinking, singing karaoke, killing brain cells and um…. mingling with the ladies. All at the same time, mind you.

    Happy birthday, old man, and um…. fuck the Astros.


  4. Astros Fan
    July 16, 2011

    Was this article written by Jim Crane’s p.r. people? How can there be no mention of any of the (many) Jim Crane scandals — the allegations of racism and sexism that ended with over 200 paid claims; a lavish private life that make Crane look like a McCourt of the South; settlements with the federal government due to war profiteering by Crane’s new company; etc.

    People who want the full story should check out the extensive reports at Forbes, Biz of Baseball and The New York Times. Trust me: They aren’t pretty.


    • tophatal
      July 17, 2011

      Astros Fan

      Hey, if Crane has problems that what does that say ’bout the rest of the owners in the league ? Or are you also oblivious of their own misdeeds and that of the league hierarchy ? Wake up and smell the coffe !

      It’s not as if Drayton McLane was ever a paragon of virtue to begin with !

      tophatal …..


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