Dubsism

What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions

What We Learned From The League Division Series

1) It’s time to change the Yankees’ name

Given the performance of the the heart of the Bronx Bomber lineup, it may be time to rename them the New York Houdinis.  Nobody has ever pulled a better disappearing act than Alex Rodriguez and Mark Texieira.

2) Ryan Howard would be a perfect fit for the New York Houdinis

If New York didn’t already have a big-time disappearing first-baseman, and now what seems to be a next-season-threatening Achilles tendon injury not withstanding, it is hard to overlook Howard’s paltry production against the Cardinals.

3) Money Can’t Buy It All

Can we now officially dismiss the idea that it is money alone which spells success in baseball? The following table should tell the story:

Not only are the four teams remaining in the playoffs in the middle of the pack in terms of payroll, and not only are there a number of high-payroll team that didn’t even get a sniff of October, but look at how many big spenders were honestly terrible:

When six of the top ten in payroll don’t make the playoffs, and when four of those can’t even crack .500, and one of those damn near loses 100 games, stop trying to tell me that money is the only reason teams are successful.

4) How long before the Philadelphia Phillies become the Red Mets?

Don’t laugh yet, city of Brotherly Love…It didn’t take the Red Sox long to become the Red Yankees, and if you aren’t careful, you could easily become a “cheesesteak and water ice” version of the Mets. Don’t forget that both you and the Red Sox have won a World Series in the last four years, then added payroll to improve a Championship-caliber team with a negative result.

Now all that has to happen is the infusion of New York/Boston-style drama, a key injury or two (Ryan Howard, anybody?) and bada-bing, the Phils are a 75-win team with a $175 million payroll.

5) The New “Love ’em or Hate ’em” Squad

Now that the Yankees are off to winter of tee-times in Tampa, baseball fans are in desperate need of another polarizing squad which we can either cheer or curse. Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce your 2011 Milwaukee Brewers.

The Brewers – a team which embodies the same sort of brash, youthful exuberance which the majority of catheter-bound baseball fans will absolutely freaking hate – might just be exactly what baseball needs to attract the attention of anybody under 30.

The last night of the regular season and the drama of three elimination games in the past two days exemplify the heart-exploding drama baseball can provide, but the trouble is it can take weeks to build to those moments. In the mean time, baseball could use a bit of brash to liven up its image.

Frankly, I’ve grown exceptionally weary of these stodgy old farts who think they get to rule the baseball landscape with all their 19th-century “unwritten rules” and general disdain of anything which happened after 1960. My wife is going to keel over in hysterics if she reads this, because she thinks I am the face of the term “stodgy old fart.”  The truth is she’s right, but I’m parting ways with my stodgy, old brethren because I am tired of watching baseball sink further into irrelevancy because of a bunch of geezers who don’t give a damn about the future.

Time to face facts, my fellow gray hairs…we ain’t the future. Those long-haired little whipper-snappers with their rock ‘n’ roll 8-track tapes are.  If it takes a bit of brash to keep them interested, then so be it.  I, for one, refuse to watch baseball become as irrelevant as the WNBA because you are so uptight your ass rips dime-size holes in your adult diaper.

In other words, make all the crazy gestures and drop all the F-bombs you want, Nyjer Morgan. Somebody has to be the straw that stirs the Metamucil for all of baseball’s grumpy old fans.

About J-Dub

What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

11 comments on “What We Learned From The League Division Series

  1. tophatal
    October 8, 2011

    During this series more than half of the Yankees’ roster overnight joined the US Marshals’ —- WITSEC program .

    If at all interested merely click on the link below .

    Come Get Some

    http://tophatal.wordpress.com/2011/10/08/come-get-some/

    tophatal …………

    Like

  2. Bobby Charts
    October 8, 2011

    Good point about Phillies.
    When i turned on Yankees/Tigers game 5 in 7th with bases loaded and A-Rod up, I thought for sure theywere going to pull it off, nope!

    Like

  3. unclemonkey
    October 9, 2011

    Great post! Love how you showed the payrolls and how it doesn’t necessarily mean success. I think many GMs forget that success comes by building a team as opposed to buying the biggest names and throwing money at them. The Tampa Bay Rays are a perfect example. And you are right, something needs to shake up baseball – it needs a little more personality.

    Like

  4. tophatal
    October 9, 2011

    JW

    Rays’ fans have reason to worry because the contracts of both Maddon and the GM Friedman are up during the off-season. And it’s been rumored that the ‘stros’ front office have begun to make inquiries to gauge their interest . Meanwhile Ricketts of the Cubs have broached the Red Sox concerning Epstein .

    I see the White Sox didn’t waste much time in naming a successor to Ozzie Guillen ……. Robin Ventura . Reinsdorf and Kenny Williams must obviously be on to something .

    tophatal ……

    Like

  5. sportsattitudes
    October 10, 2011

    Our Phillies are well on their way to being this generation’s Atlanta Braves. A boatload of Division Titles but almost non-existent success thereafter. Charlie Manuel is the new Bobby Cox.

    Like

    • JW
      October 10, 2011

      Does this mean “Cholly” Manuel will punch his wife in the face?

      Like

    • chappy81
      October 12, 2011

      I was curious to hear your response to his Philly comments!

      Like

  6. tophatal
    October 10, 2011

    The Phillies like the Eagles simply came up short ……. who’s captaining both vessels the crew of the Titanic ?

    At 1-4 if Reid’s job isn’t now in jeopardy then the entire front office needs to be castrated !

    tophatal ……….

    Like

  7. Speaking of payroll, now that Theo is apparently Chicago bound, it’ll be interesting to see what kind of cash they spend and whether he’s able to catch lightning in a bottle like he did in Boston.

    Can you imagine if that little pipsqueak build a champion on the North Side? He’ll pretty much be able to buy himself a small island in the Caribbean and just plant himself there for ever.

    Like

    • JW
      October 12, 2011

      I have a decidedly “wait and see” attitude on this…I am not sold that the Cubs can’t find a way to screw up everything they touch. Epstein will spend three years just cleaning up the mess left by Jim Hendry.

      Like

  8. chappy81
    October 12, 2011

    I’m totally with you on the Brewers. Baseball needs more guys that will do and say whatever whenever. Seems like everyone is way too calculated. Who knows, maybe that’s why I’ve been pulling for them the last three months…

    Like

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