What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions
For the sixth January in a row, we here at Dubsism will be handing out our coveted awards for various achievements in the world of sport. But this year, we are doing something different. For the fist time ever, we are opening up the nomination process to the readers of our partner blog Turtle Boy Sports.
We’re doing this simply to grow the numbers of nominations from you, the blog-reading public who clearly has nothing better to do than read this dreck.
Regardless of where you are reading this, the fact you are here means you likely have read a lot of other sports stuff, and therefore likely have a better idea of to whom to give these awards than do the drunken bunch of keyboard droolers on the staff at Dubsism. You can always check out our previous awards should you have any questions as to the reasons for which the awards are given, and if you don’t know, you can also do web search on the people for whom the awards are named. They are both telling and self-explanatory.
Having said that, here is the Dubsy award nomination ballot. Simply fill in your nominees (be sure to include pertinent facts; links to supporting evidence are always welcome, and depending on the reason for nomination, it may be required by the Dubsism legal department), then copy and paste your ballot into an email addressed to email@example.com.
There are very few criteria for submitting a ballot:
We also will be giving honorable mentions to the best nominees which are pretty damn good, but didn’t win. For those, we will post your name and a link to your blog/webpage if you wish. If you don’t wish, then don’t give it to us…
For more information on last year’s winners, click here.
Your Blog/Website/Facebook Page so people can worship your brilliant nomination:
The Mickey Klutts Award for Unfortunate Naming
Previous Winner: Luca Cunti, Swiss Hockey Player
The Bobby Knight Award for Achievements in Dramatic Public Meltdowns
Previous Winner: Barry Hinson, head basketball coach, Southern Illinois University
The Bevo and Ralphie Award for Mascot Buffoonery
Previous Winner: The Raider Rusher
The Budd Dwyer Award for Excellence in Career Suicide
Previous Winner: Former USC head football coach Lane Kiffin
The Ed Hochuli Award for the Best Call
Previous Winner: Indianapolis Colts punter Pat McAfee
The Jason Sehorn Award for Being Completely Overrated
Previous Winner: The Washington Nationals
The Clinton-Nixon Award for Cover-Up Futility
Previous Winner: Lance Armstrong
The Charles O. Finley Award for Achievements in Cheap
Previous Winner: The Jacksonville Jaguars
The Joe Kapp Award for Being Run Out of Town
Previous Winner: Former Texas head football coach Mack Brown
The Bobby Layne Award for Best Performance While Drunk
Previous Winner: TBS sideline clothes-hangar Craig Sager
The Artis Gilmore Award for Achievements in Hair Boldness
Previous Winner: Former NBA player Andrew Bynum
The Kyle Orton Award for Achievements in Partying
Previous Winner: Johhny Manziel
The Vasily Alexseyev Award For Plus-Sized Achievements
Previous Winner: The Houston Texans
The Vinko Bogotaj Award For Epic Failure
Previous Winner: The Houston Texans
The Joe Theismann Award For Gruesome Injuries
Previous Winner: Louisville guard Kevin Ware
The Gene Mauch Lifetime Achievement Award
This award is given annually to somebody who has been around forever, but never won anything.
Previous Winner: NBA Hall of Famer Charles Barkley
Nominations will be accepted until 3 p.m. Eastern (U.S.) time on Tuesday, December 30th, 2014.
Let your voice be heard, Dubsists. There’s over a million of you out there, so let’s really make these awards mean something…we simply cannot let the ESPYs stand as the standard in sports awards. Who gives a shit about what “30 by 30″ movie was the best? Let’s make sure we are giving award for things we care about.
After all, aren’t we as the fans what make sports matter in the first place?