What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions
Of all days, this is the one where you need to remember that as an American, you have not only the duty, but the RIGHT to get drunk and a) fall off a boat, b) almost choke to death on a hot dog, or c) blow yourself to Kingdom Come with fireworks.
C is obviously my favorite, not because I want to see people get blown up (especially not loyal Dubsists), but because every year, the nanny-state that is our government puts out an awesome “here’s how dangerous fireworks are” video, which features somebody blowing the absolute shit out of clothing store mannequins.
Who ever said the government can’t do some things right? In any event, on the assumption you are smarter than a dummy with a styrofoam head, enjoy the Independence Day holiday!
Baseball, shredding guitars, explosives, and liquor… AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!