Dubsism

What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions

Ask J-Dub – Episode 2

lucy-van-pelt-psychiatrist

The inaugural installment of Ask J-Dub didn’t cause the blog-reading  to come and burn down the Dubsism World Headquarters.  That’s not only a shock, but cost me some money…I did take the “Pete Rose” route and had money on the Dubsism building being set alight by people who either didn’t like our answers or were pissed we didn’t pick their questions. That didn’t happen (thankfully, because the last months insurance premiums were riding on a sporting event to remain nameless), but between the awesome queries which came in and those we keep getting, it only proves that Dubsism has a great bunch of followers.

Don’t worry abut attracting a bunch of kooks sending you a lot of crap.  We won’t publish your email or twitter handle unless you request us to do so. If you wish to remain anonymous, just supply us with a nom de plume* like you will see on the following questions. With that, here’s yet another bit of rough-hewn J-Dub style honesty you simply won’t find anywhere else.

*Nom de plume is just a fancy French phrase for “fake name.”

Question #1:

Dear J-Dub,

Whatever happened to the “Radio J-Dub” podcast? Is it ever coming back?

~Pod God

That’s a surprisingly complex question. Without getting too far into the weeds, Radio J-Dub suffered from technical issues, a host of scheduling issues in terms of having guests, and most importantly, people don’t realize how time-consuming it is to produce podcasts.

Now, having said that, there have been several people who have asked about a Dubsism return to podcasting. What I can say is there are some potential podcast project options being bandied about here at Dubsism World Headquarters…stay tuned for further updates. By the way, this is a good time to mention we are always on the lookout for propel willing to take part in such projects. Our contact information is at the bottom of this post if you’ve got the interest and/or the stones.

Question #2:

Dear J-Dub,

I keep hearing it said that Serena Williams is the greatest female athlete ever? Do you think that’s true?

~Tennis the Menace

In a word, no.

In more than one word, this might be the stupidest thing I’ve heard in a long time.  If I gave a fuck about tennis, I’d be willing to entertain the conversation as to Williams’ status as the greatest female tennis player of all time.  More importantly, this is once again where I point out that when you propose any “greatest of all time” conversation to me, I stick to the All time” factor, where as most people are stuck to “greatest in my lifetime.” That means far too many people won’t remember Jackie Joyner-Kersee, who was arguably the greatest female track athlete of all time, winning medals in four Olympiads in heptathlon and long jump between 1984 and 1996.

Even less will remember Babe Didrikson-Zaharias, who in college was an All-American in basketball, then won gold medals in the hurdles and javelin and a silver medal in the high jump.   She then became a Hall of Famer as a professional golfer by winning 41 LPGA events, competing with and beating men in golf tournaments, and being named the Associated Press Female Athlete of the Year six times between 1932-1954.

Despite Serena Williams’ accomplishments in tennis, she can’t touch either Joyner-Kersee or Didrikson-Zaharias.  Not to mention, you’d have a hard time convincing me she could beat Martina Navratilova if they could meet in their primes.

Question #3:

Dear J-Dub,

Does anybody really care about the upcoming World Baseball Classic?

~Seriously, Football Sucks

That depends on who you ask. Outside of the U.S., this is a big deal. All you have to do is watch some of the games held in other countries. Inside the U.S., what invariably happens is Americans will only watch the U.S. team, and once they get eliminated, American interest goes right down the crapper. That means the Finals which to this point have always been held in America will get no American viewership because Team USA isn’t involved.

That’s too bad because the WBC has all the potential to become baseball’s answer to the World Cup. It won’t be as big, but two things need to happen if it hopes to get anywhere close. One, the U.S. has to win it.  Without that, there will never be American interest. Two, there needs to be a larger presence for international for rivalries like what happens in the Caribbean during winter ball.

Seriously, the model is already out there; Little League is doing it on a volunteer basis. Don’t tell me somebody can’t make this work to the tune of a couple billion dollars.

Question #4:

Dear J-Dub,

What the fuck happened to ESPN? I know you trash it all the time, but why do they do some of the stupid shit they do?

~Fed-Up

dog peeing on espn.com

That’s a pretty open-ended question, but no matter what your beef with the World-Wide Bottom-Feeder is, there’s an answer that probably at least touches your complaint: ESPN is a sports network run by entertainment people.

To be brief, that means you get a bunch of executive types who make decisions based not on what the sports fan is looking for, but what they think will draw the most viewers. This is exactly what happened with all the original cable channels…you know…when you could surf to the Weather Channel and actually see weather

If you are a particular type of mush-brain, you’re going to try to sell me some bilge about sports being entertainment. There’s truth in that, but if you’re not careful, the line between the two gets blurred. Once you start eliminating those kind of distinctions, something happens which is literally killing ESPN.

Here’s where a supposedly all-sports network becomes yet another other outlet for cheaply-produced, marginally-valuable content. ESPN’s new electronic flaming trash-barrel SportsCenter with Michael A. Smith and Jemele Hill is the perfect example.

ESPN knows 6pm ET on a weekday is a dead zone for sports news; everything that happened yesterday has been beaten to death across eighteen different media outlets, and unless you have the rare day-time sporting event, nothing new has happened to cover. That’s why it has more filler than a prison meatloaf. Its’ billed as “sports, movies, and culture;” it’s more like the skim milk version of all three…if you left the milk sitting on the radiator for a week.

ESPN doesn’t get why it is hemorrhaging viewers, all while it continues to give multi-talentless piles of protoplasm like Jemele Hill and Michael A. Smith shows with no real purpose in terrible time slots.

In short, stupidity is what happened to ESPN.

Question #5:

Dear J-Dub,

I’m with you, I’m a long-time Los Angeles Lakers fan. My husband is a Boston Celtics fan. Which of our teams will be relevant first?

~Conflicted in Crawfordsville

This is an amazingly timely question, even if it was sent to us before Jeannie Buss settled all the Lakers’ family business on Tuesday…more on that in a bit.  To address this question specifically means understanding two things.

First of all, you married a Celtics fan. You didn’t specify in which state your Crawfordsville is in, but if it is the one I know in Indiana, that means your husband either lays awake at night getting lost in Brad Stevens’ boyish good looks or is just straight up sucking off Larry Bird. Either way…Congratulations, you married some shamrock-loving fag.

Second of all, you read this blog, which quickly puts you at strike two for having questionable judgement.

Most importantly, this is actually a surprisingly complex question because there’s two ways to define “relevant.” In terms of franchise value and economic importance to the league, the Lakers will always be in a heavyweight battle at the top with the New York Knicks.

But, I’m guessing that isn’t why you asked this question. As far as the on-court issues go, sadly the Celtics are already relevant. Not to mention, the emergence of Isiah Thomas might even make them legitimate. Granted, rising to prominence in the Eastern Conference can have standards as low as being the best ballet dancer in Mobridge, South Dakota.

Face facts. The East in the NBA has three teams anybody thought were any good at the start of the season, and there’s been a host of other taking turns playing Whack-A-Mole popping up to be potential contenders. In February, it seems to be Boston’s shot. Remember six weeks ago when the buzz was around the Hornets. Then they took on water faster than the Lusitania by taking a standings torpedo of 1-9 in a recent ten game stretch.

If it weren’t for the Nets, the Lakers would easily be in the discussion for being the NBA’s sorriest side. Worse than that is in order to get back to being a top-four play-off team in the “wild” West, today’s Lakers would need to be a 40-win team right now…but if they had 40 wins today, they’d be leading the sorry-ass East.

The bottom line is the Lakers have a longer road to travel back to the top, and but at least Jeannie Buss got the Lakers on the on-ramp the other day by getting Jim Buss out the driver’s seat.

Email Dubsism at dubsism@yahoo.com, and follow us @Dubsism on Twitter, or on our Pinterest, Tumblr, Instagram, and Facebook pages.

About J-Dub

What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

2 comments on “Ask J-Dub – Episode 2

  1. ChrisHumpherys (@SportsChump)
    February 25, 2017

    All valid points, my friend.

    Except for the World Baseball Classic thing.

    I can only compare it to the Stanley Cup finals and Olympic Gold in hockey (unless of course the US won it like they did with the miracle).

    Sure, winning gold is nice but every self-respecting hockey player thirsts for the Cup.

    Sure, winning that world baseball classic thingy would be a nice addition to one’s mantel piece but winning the World Series is what every baseball players dreams of.

    They can put as much money as they want into it. It won’t change the fact that a) baseball is boring, still and b) it’ll never been as big as winning a World Series.

    Liked by 1 person

    • J-Dub
      February 26, 2017

      1) This is what happens when you let a Floridian talk hockey. There’s a bunch of guys, led by Alexander Ovechkin, who opposed the NHL not letting it’s players go to the 2018 Olympics. In other words, the Stanley Cup only trumps national pride to the North American players; the Europeans grew up on world soccer which loves international competitions, which are all about national pride. To them, the NHL is all about ginormous paychecks

      2) Listening to a football fan call baseball boring is like hearing a fart describe its own smell. Football shoe-horns 14 minutes of actual action into 4 hours, most of that time spent watching fat guys standing around with their hands on their hips. If I wanted to see that much of winded 300-pounders, I’d put a full-length mirror at the top of my stairs.

      3) …And the Academy Award for proving my point goes to…

      I don’t expect Americans to give a shit about the World Baseball Classic (unless they win). The U.S. team will be the only one comprised completely of big-leaguers; a few of the Latin countries might sport a roster with a majority of guys from the majors. But watch what this is to Asian and Caribbean teams which might have one or two “real” players. They love this shit.

      Like

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