What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions
There’s really no need to give a big preamble here. Saturdaius Primus is the first of the Twelve Greatest Saturdays of the Year according to the Dubsism Liturgical Calendar. I know that gave that “Week Zero” stuff last week, and even though they call it that, it was still worth a net profit of $29. That means we start the first official week of the college football betting season with a bankroll of $5,029.
Yeah, 29 bucks won’t even get you a bottle of Maker’s Mark, and believe me, alcohol comes in handy on those weeks when you spend Sunday figuring out what you’re pawning to make the house payment. But that’s why this is the start of a marathon, not a sprint. That’s a good thing, because you never see people handing out those Gatorade cups during sprints; and we all know anything involving college football entails a lot of drinking from plastic cups.
Having said that, let’s get ready to gamble…
DISCLAIMER: Because gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir… and when it comes to gambling, I slice like Jack the Ripper working the deli coumter on crystal meth. That’s why this in no way, shape or form is a gambling advice column, and all “bets” are mythical in nature. In other words, don’t come crying to me when you lose your house payment betting real money like I’m “betting” Monopoly money.
Kent State at Clemson (-39) O/U 51
J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:
Kentucky (-10.5) at Southern Mississippi O/U 57.5
$250 Southern Mississippi
Here’s the deal. Yeah, I know nobody has given a shit about Southern Mississippi football since Brett Favre a quarter-century ago. That’s why this Payday might get under everybody’s radar. This Southern Miss team getting 10.5 at home is the same one that went into Lexington lat year and won. I couldn’t tell you the last time Southern Miss played a game that mattered to anybody outside of Hattiesburg, which means a middlin’-to-shitty team like Kentucky has win by 11 after walking into walk into a home-crowd buzzsaw who because they started tailgating on Monday by Saturday will be out of Solo Cups which means they will be guzzling booze cheaper than what I drink out of Frisbees, hubcaps, and whatever else they can scrounge. Good luck with that, Kentucky.