Dubsism

What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions

The Full-On Dubsism 2017 College Football Preview

Those of you in the know when it comes to Dubsism understand that college football Saturdays are high holy days on this blog.  That’s why we are here to give you the “411” on what to watch for in this upcoming season so that you, the blog-reading public, can revel in the same amount of enjoyment as we do in one the greatest fucking sports on this planet.  Another reason why we do it is there is a rule in the blogosphere that says if you tag more than three posts with “college football,” you are required to do a pre-season ranking. Failure to do so will get your nose flayed and your genitals set on fire.

We really don’t want burning junk or Frank Thomas-sized nostrils.  But we also don’t want to do the usual sport-o-blog crap you can get from 25,000 other places on the web.  That’s why we try to add some nuance.

If you’re looking for a simple “Top 25” list, you’re in more of a wrong place that a guy named Robert Lee at ESPN.  Here at Dubsism we are believers in the yin and yang of things, which means we don’t believe in just the shop-worn “Top 25;” we subscribe to the to the theory that any true ranking must be comprehensive.  In concert with that, we also subscribe to the theory that any pre-season bloggery should include some pointers as to what to watch for.

Why? Because for every team that should be admired for its prowess, there is one that should be pitied for its ineptitude. Along with that, some fans really need some help looking for the things turd-pumps like ESPN won’t tell them.

The Working Hypotheses For 2017

Let’s cut through the bullshit here; that’s science-geeky way of saying “Here’s the main concepts on which we are basing most of our conclusions.”  That also means these are things we will come back to in January and wonder “What the fuck were we smoking when we dreamed up this shit?”

1) The SEC is the best conference in the country, period.

The people that are trying to sell you the notion the ACC rules the college football world simply don’t understand college football.  Yeah, I understand Clemson is the current Dubsism Heavyweight Champion, but I also understand the Tigers star quarterback is now property of the Houston Texans.

There’s simply no argument that counters this fact: The SEC has more talent top-to-bottom than any other conference. It is not your father’s SEC, which was really Alabama and everybody else. Scroll down and look at the conference break-down.  Tell me who you like better: #8 in the SEC or #8 in the ACC.  We both know Tennessee goes into that hypothetical game as not not-so-hypothetical two-touchdown favorite.

2) The B1G Ten is the second-best conference in the country, period.

Call me biased if you will because for purposes of full disclosure, I’m a B1G Ten guy.  I’m a B1G Ten fan and I live in the heart of B1G Ten country.  The B1G Ten and the SEC are the two conferences which consistently export the most talent to the NFL.  The biggest knock on this conference is it has a long history of gagging on it comes bowl season.

I think that’s because the B1g Ten is to college football what the English Premier League is to European soccer.  It’s the league with the most money, it’s the league with the most old-school prestige, but it’s teams spend the regular season bludgeoning each other so badly that they are literally limping across the finish line come January.

3) It’s time to talk about the Big 12 not being a “Power 5” conference anymore.

Of the “Power 5” conferences, the Big 12 is the only one with just a single team in the Top 15.  Do you know how many teams have made the new play-off format who start the season ranked outside the Top 15? Zero. The odds were also prohibitive against non-preseason Top 15 teams making it into the old BCS format as well.

4) The odds are the Heisman Trophy winner isn’t on this list.

  • Sam Darnold, USC, 9-2
  • Baker Mayfield, Oklahoma, 10-1
  • Lamar Jackson, Louisville, 10-1
  • J.T. Barrett, Ohio State, 12-1
  • Saquon Barkley, Penn State, 15-1
  • Jake Browning, Washington, 15-1

By the time we are talking about Play-Off rankings, the chances are there will be a Heisman candidate nobody is talking about right now. Think about it. Of the winners in the last five years, three of them weren’t on anybody’s radar at the beginning of their trophy-winning season.  That means its more likely there another Johnny Manziel, Jamies Winston, or Lamar Jackson out there than any of those favorites hoisting the Heisman.

The Breakdown By Conference

Here’s another thing you won’t get from the standa-boring, garden-variety “Top 25” list.  We here at Dubsism give you an ranking of the conferences, which is then broken down by rankiing the teams with in that conference.

You’re welcome.

Not Counted) The Independents

Let’s be honest, we really don’t know what to do with these guys since this section is about ranking conferences and then team within a conference.  That gets hard to do with teams who don’t belong to a conference.

Let’s be even more honest.  Only BYU really matters out of this group.  The Cougars are likely headed for a pretty good mid-range bowl.  The only other bowl team amongst the indies is Army who has a contractual obligation once they hit 6 wins, and they could easily be one of those 5-win bowlers based on that whole GPA thing.

  1. Overall # 31, BYU
  2. Overall # 68, Notre Dame
  3. Overall # 104, Army
  4. Overall # 111, Massachusetts

1) Southeastern Conference

  1. Overall # 1 Alabama, #1 SEC West
  2. Overall # 3 LSU, #2 SEC West
  3. Overall # 7 Auburn, #3 SEC West
  4. Overall # 13 Florida, #1 SEC East
  5. Overall # 15 Texas A&M, #4 SEC West
  6. Overall # 16 Georgia, #2 SEC East
  7. Overall # 23 Arkansas, #5 SEC West
  8. Overall # 25 Tennessee, #3 SEC East
  9. Overall # 27 Mississippi State, #6 SEC West
  10. Overall # 29 Mississippi, #7 SEC West
  11. Overall # 32 South Carolina, #4 SEC East
  12. Overall # 39 Kentucky, #5 SEC East
  13. Overall # 46 Missouri, #6 SEC East
  14. Overall # 60 Vanderbilt, #7 SEC East

2) B1G Ten

  1. Overall # 2 Ohio State, #1 B1G Ten East
  2. Overall # 6 Penn State, #2 B1G Ten East
  3. Overall # 11 Wisconsin, #1 B1G Ten West
  4. Overall # 12 Michigan, #3 B1G Ten East
  5. Overall # 35 Northwestern, #2 B1G Ten West
  6. Overall # 43 Nebraska, #3 B1G Ten West
  7. Overall # 47 Michigan State, #4 B1G Ten East
  8. Overall # 50 Iowa, #4 B1G Ten West
  9. Overall # 53 Indiana, #5 B1G Ten East
  10. Overall # 56 Minnesota, #5 B1G Ten West
  11. Overall # 77 Purdue, #6 B1G Ten West
  12. Overall # 79 Maryland, #6 B1G Ten East
  13. Overall # 87 Illinois, #7 B1G Ten West
  14. Overall # 91 Rutgers, #7 B1G Ten East

3) Pac-12

  1. Overall # 9 Southern California, #1 Pac-12 South
  2. Overall # 10 Stanford, #1 Pac-12 North
  3. Overall # 14 Washington, #2 Pac-12 North
  4. Overall # 20 Oregon, #3 Pac-12 North
  5. Overall # 30 Washington State, #4 Pac-12 North
  6. Overall # 36 UCLA, #2 Pac-12 South
  7. Overall # 44 Utah, #3 Pac-12 South
  8. Overall # 48 Colorado, #4 Pac-12 South
  9. Overall # 51 California,#5  Pac-12 North
  10. Overall # 57 Arizona State, #5 Pac-12 South
  11. Overall # 59 Oregon State, #6 Pac-12 North
  12. Overall # 70 Arizona, #6 Pac-12 South

4) Atlantic Coast Conference

  1. Overall # 4 Clemson, #1 ACC Atlantic
  2. Overall # 5 Florida State, #2 ACC Atlantic
  3. Overall # 17 Louisville, #3 ACC Atlantic
  4. Overall # 19 Virginia Tech, #1 ACC Coastal
  5. Overall # 22 Miami, #2 ACC Coastal
  6. Overall # 33 Pittsburgh, #3 ACC Coastal
  7. Overall # 38 NC State, #4 ACC Atlantic
  8. Overall # 40 North Carolina,  #4 ACC Coastal
  9. Overall # 42 Georgia Tech , #5 ACC Coastal
  10. Overall # 61 Syracuse, #5 ACC Atlantic
  11. Overall # 63 Wake Forest , #6 ACC Atlantic
  12. Overall # 66 Duke, #6 ACC Coastal
  13. Overall # 75 Boston College, #7 ACC Atlantic
  14. Overall # 78 Virginia, #7 ACC Coastal

5) Big 12

  1. Overall # 8, Oklahoma
  2. Overall # 18, Oklahoma State
  3. Overall # 21, TCU
  4. Overall # 24, Texas
  5. Overall # 28, Kansas State
  6. Overall # 34, Baylor
  7. Overall # 64, Iowa State
  8. Overall # 67, Texas Tech
  9. Overall # 71, West Virginia
  10. Overall # 127, Kansas

6) Mountain West Conference

  1. Overall # 26 Boise State, MWC Mountain
  2. Overall # 45 Colorado State, MWC Mountain
  3. Overall # 49 San Diego State, MWC West
  4. Overall # 72 Utah State, MWC Mountain
  5. Overall # 83 Wyoming, MWC Mountain
  6. Overall # 99 San Jose State, MWC West
  7. Overall # 103 Hawaii, MWC West
  8. Overall # 109 Fresno State, MWC West
  9. Overall # 110 New Mexico, MWC Mountain
  10. Overall # 114 Air Force, MWC Mountain
  11. Overall # 116 Nevada, MWC West
  12. Overall # 117 UNLV, MWC West

7) American Athletic Conference

  1. Overall # 37 Houston, AAC West
  2. Overall # 55 Navy, AAC West
  3. Overall # 58 South Florida, AAC East
  4. Overall # 62 Memphis, AAC West
  5. Overall # 65 Temple, AAC East
  6. Overall # 73 Tulsa, AAC West
  7. Overall # 80 Cincinnati, AAC East
  8. Overall # 81 Central Florida, AAC East
  9. Overall # 82 SMU, AAC West
  10. Overall # 95 Tulane, AAC West
  11. Overall # 101 East Carolina, AAC East
  12. Overall # 124 Connecticut, AAC East

8 -Tie) Conference USA

  1. Overall # 41 Western Kentucky, CUSA East
  2. Overall # 84 Louisiana Tech, CUSA West
  3. Overall # 86 Southern Mississippi, CUSA West
  4. Overall # 90 Middle Tennessee, CUSA East
  5. Overall # 93 UTSA, CUSA West
  6. Overall # 94 Old Dominion, CUSA East
  7. Overall # 97 Florida Atlantic, CUSA East
  8. Overall # 102 Marshall, CUSA East
  9. Overall # 106 Florida International, CUSA East
  10. Overall # 107 North Texas, CUSA West
  11. Overall # 119 Rice, CUSA West
  12. Overall # 125 UTEP, CUSA West
  13. Overall # 126 Charlotte, CUSA East
  14. Overall # 128 UAB, CUSA West

8 – Tie) Mid-America Conference

  1. Overall # 52 Toledo, MAC West
  2. Overall # 69 Western Michigan, MAC West
  3. Overall # 74 Northern Illinois, MAC West
  4. Overall # 88 Ball State, MAC West
  5. Overall # 89 Miami (OH), MAC East
  6. Overall # 96 Bowling Green, MAC East
  7. Overall # 98 Eastern Michigan, MAC West
  8. Overall # 100 Central Michigan, MAC West
  9. Overall # 105 Ohio, MAC East
  10. Overall # 121 Akron, MAC East
  11. Overall # 122 Kent State, MAC East
  12. Overall # 130 Buffalo, MAC East

9) Sun Belt

  1. Overall # 54 Appalachian State, Sun Belt
  2. Overall # 76 Troy, Sun Belt
  3. Overall # 85 Arkansas State, Sun Belt
  4. Overall # 92 Georgia Southern  Sun Belt
  5. Overall # 108 South Alabama, Sun Belt
  6. Overall # 112 UL-Lafayette, Sun Belt
  7. Overall # 113 Georgia State, Sun Belt
  8. Overall # 115 Coastal Carolina, Sun Belt
  9. Overall # 118 Idaho, Sun Belt
  10. Overall # 120 UL-Monroe, Sun Belt
  11. Overall # 123 New Mexico State, Sun Belt
  12. Overall # 129 Texas State, Sun Belt

The Full-On, Full Meal Deal, Mega-Scrolling, Everybody, Everything Including The Kitchen Sink List

  1. Alabama,  SEC
  2. Ohio State, Big Ten
  3. LSU, SEC
  4. Clemson, ACC
  5. Florida State, ACC
  6. Penn State,  Big Ten
  7. Auburn, SEC
  8. Oklahoma, Big 12
  9. Southern California, Pac-12
  10. Stanford, Pac-12
  11. Wisconsin, Big Ten
  12. Michigan, Big Ten
  13. Florida, SEC
  14. Washington, Pac-12
  15. Texas A&M, SEC
  16. Georgia, SEC
  17. Louisville, ACC
  18. Oklahoma State, Big 12
  19. Virginia Tech, ACC
  20. Oregon, Pac-12
  21. TCU, Big 12
  22. Miami, ACC
  23. Arkansas, SEC
  24. Texas, Big 12
  25. Tennessee, SEC
  26. Boise State, MWC
  27. Mississippi State, SEC
  28. Kansas State, Big 12
  29. Mississippi, SEC
  30. Washington State, Pac-12
  31. BYU, Independent
  32. South Carolina, SEC
  33. Pittsburgh, ACC
  34. Baylor, Big 12
  35. Northwestern, Big Ten
  36. UCLA, Pac-12
  37. Houston, AAC
  38. NC State, ACC
  39. Kentucky, SEC
  40. North Carolina, ACC
  41. Western Kentucky.  CUSA
  42. Georgia Tech, ACC
  43. Nebraska, Big Ten
  44. Utah, Pac-12
  45. Colorado State, MWC
  46. Missouri, SEC
  47. Michigan State, Big Ten
  48. Colorado, Pac-12
  49. San Diego State, MWC
  50. Iowa, Big Ten
  51. California, Pac-12
  52. Toledo, MAC
  53. Indiana, Big Ten
  54. Appalachian State, Sun Belt
  55. Navy, AAC
  56. Minnesota, Big Ten
  57. Arizona State, Pac-12
  58. South Florida, AAC
  59. Oregon State, Pac-12
  60. Vanderbilt, SEC
  61. Syracuse, ACC
  62. Memphis, AAC
  63. Wake Forest, ACC
  64. Iowa State, Big 12
  65. Temple, AAC
  66. Duke, ACC
  67. Texas Tech, Big 12
  68. Notre Dame, Independent
  69. Western Michigan, MAC
  70. Arizona, Pac-12
  71. West Virginia, Big 12
  72. Utah State, MWC
  73. Tulsa, AAC
  74. Northern Illinois, MAC
  75. Boston College, ACC
  76. Troy, Sun Belt
  77. Purdue, Big Ten
  78. Virginia, ACC
  79. Maryland, Big Ten
  80. Cincinnati, AAC
  81. Central Florida, AAC
  82. SMU, AAC
  83. Wyoming, MWC
  84. Louisiana Tech, CUSA
  85. Arkansas State, Sun Belt
  86. Southern Miss, CUSA
  87. Illinois, Big Ten
  88. Ball State, MAC
  89. Miami (OH), MAC
  90. Middle Tennessee, CUSA
  91. Rutgers, Big Ten
  92. Georgia Southern, Sun Belt
  93. UTSA, CUSA
  94. Old Dominion, CUSA
  95. Tulane, AAC
  96. Bowling Green, MAC
  97. Florida Atlantic, CUSA
  98. Eastern Michigan, MAC
  99. San Jose State, MWC
  100. Central Michigan, MAC
  101. East Carolina, AAC
  102. Marshall, CUSA
  103. Hawaii, MWC
  104. Army, Independent
  105. Ohio, MAC
  106. Florida International, CUSA
  107. North Texas, CUSA
  108. South Alabama, Sun Belt
  109. Fresno State, MWC
  110. New Mexico, MWC
  111. Massachusetts, Independent
  112. UL-Lafayette, Sun Belt
  113. Georgia State, Sun Belt
  114. Air Force, MWC
  115. Coastal Carolina, Sun Belt
  116. Nevada, MWC
  117. UNLV, MWC
  118. Idaho, Sun Belt
  119. Rice, CUSA
  120. UL-Monroe Sun Belt
  121. Akron, MAC
  122. Kent State, MAC
  123. New Mexico State, Sun Belt
  124. Connecticut, AAC
  125. UTEP, CUSA
  126. Charlotte, CUSA
  127. Kansas, Big 12
  128. UAB, CUSA
  129. Texas State, Sun Belt
  130. Buffalo, MAC

Email the most interesting independent sports blog on the web at dubsism@yahoo.com, and follow us @Dubsism on Twitter, or on our PinterestTumblrInstagram, Snapchat, and Facebook pages.

About J-Dub

What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

2 comments on “The Full-On Dubsism 2017 College Football Preview

  1. I’m glad to hear that, going into this initial, college football post, no members of the Dubsism staff were suspended for committing any sort of NCAA violations, like credit card fraud or exchanging lap-tops.

    I’m sure it happened. I’m just impressed no one got caught.

    Or perhaps King Dub turned a blind eye to the violations.

    https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.js

    Like

    • J-Dub
      August 31, 2017

      Our skeletons are buried right next to Joe Paterno.

      Like

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