What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions
Every year about this time, we here at Dubsism offer a Basketball Bracket Challenge. Also about this time, we love to mention the odds of filling out a “perfect bracket.” From a pure statistics perspective, the number of possible unique brackets one could fill out for the 64-team NCAA Tournament is larger what engineers envision what a possible Michael Moore lapband might look like. The exact number is 9,223,372,036,854,775,808. For those of you who didn’t do their own math homework, that’s a little over 9.2 quintillion possibilities. To understand what a massive number that is, if you could fill out one bracket per second, it would take you 292 trillion years to fill out all possible permutations. If that doesn’t explain it, 9.2 quintillion pounds is approximately the weight of four Oprah Winfreys.
The idea here is the odds of perfection are big…Ponderosa big. That’s why this year’s Dubsism NCAA Tournament Challenge is the The Bonanza Isaac “Hoss” Pool. If you aren’t familiar with the Brobdingnagian Boilermaker who is the inspiration for the naming of this year’s challenge, you can either follow this link or better yet, catch #2 Purdue during this tournament. Dude is an apartment building with Smart Cars for feet, and he can hit that little “baby-hook” from anywhere inside 12 feet.
If it seems like I’m turning this post into an “Isaac Haas” infomercial, it’s just because living in the heart of Boiler Nation means I’ve seen more of this guy than most, and let’s be honest…I’m tired of hearing about Duke’s Marvin Bagley begin the best “big man” in the country. Granted, he’s in the College Basketball Hall of Pretty Fucking Good, but his bust would be right next to that of our “Hoss.”
Obviously, singing the praises of it’s namesake is the segue to the actual, official J-Dub 2018 bracket. The odds of your filling out a better bracket than the world’s most interesting independent sports blogger are far better than those of nailing the “perfect bracket,” and honestly they are even as huge as Haas. To be even more honest, just filling out a bracket gives you a pretty good shot given J-Dub’s recent tournament history. Based on that standard, if this were the Kentucky Derby, just filling out a bracket means your horse is likely still running while J-Dub’s is on a wooden skewer in a tray on a steam table at a Asian buffet.
To reserve your horse on the hoops Ponderosa, just go to http://www.pooltracker.com/join.asp?poolid=144842 and do the usual sign-up thing (you don’t need a password…unlike most social media outlets, we are truly all-inclusive). There’s nowhere on earth more welcoming than Dubsism, but we are also incredibly sporting. After all, we’re giving you a sneak-peek at the bracket you need to beat to be able to say you bested the only sports blogger in the history of ever to use the term “Brobdingnagian.”
The biggest problem for all you potential entrants isn’t the odds. You’re actually running out of time. The deadline for getting your picks submitted is noon Eastern (U.S.) time on Thursday, March 15th, 2018…which is mere hours away.
With that…beat this. I “triple-dog” dare you.
The Final Four:
As you are reading this, understand my history of picking the tournament champion. I’ve been filling out brackets since this tournament became a 64-team format; I’ve hit the champion pick twice. That means I’ve got it right twice in over three decades. Also, it should be noted that I’ve set myself once again by relying on a) the BiG Ten and b) fucking Kansas.
When you stack it and bracket, it all means I should be easy to beat. But you’ll never know if you don’t enter.