Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Olympic Video Games
Someday soon, somebody could win and Olympic Gold Medal for playing Super Mario Brothers. I’m not making this up; read this article from Fortune Magazine yourself.
The closing ceremonies of the 2016 Olympics saw Tokyo teasing the 2020 Games with a video featuring Pac-Man and Mario. The 2024 Games in Paris, however, might take things a step further.
Tony Estanguet, co-president of the Paris Olympic committee, says he plans to hold talks with esports officials and the International Olympic Committee about adding competitive video games to the Games.
Leave it to the French to come up with a patently stupid idea. If the active elimination of athletic competition isn’t a sign we are near the end of civilization, then I don’t know what is. However, in order to save ourselves from the apocalypse, we have to understand how we got here. Follow me as I demonstrate that walking between the lines of this article.
It’s not as unusual as it might sound.
No…it doesn’t sound “unusual;” it sounds horrifying…but more on that later. First, we need to get a grip on the “why?”
Esports are big money events (the ongoing International Dota 2 Championships have a prize pool of $24 million) with even bigger viewership numbers. Organizers of the Asian Games, a Pancontinental multi-sport event held every four years among athletes from all over Asia, have confirmed eSports as a demonstration event in 2018. And at the 2022 Games in Hangzhou, China, it will have full medal status.
Again, leave it to the French to master whoring out for their own preservation. These are the same people every fifty years or so can’t drop their rifles fast enough when the Germans come to town, and their biggest regret about World War II was it didn’t last long enough for the French to hand over all their Jews. These are the very same people who made it a big deal to win the bid for the 2024 summer Olympics, only to realize they just ankled themselves to an event which has historically become a gargantuan money-drain for the host country. Naturally, with the French being the French, this is what we get.
Westerners everywhere should understand what sort of cataclysms arise from anything combining the French and Asians. If you don’t, do yourself a favor and read up on the 1954 Battle of Dien Bien Phu. If the French Army could have grasped the concept that nothing good comes from letting people fire cannons at you from mountaintops, then the American war in Vietnam wouldn’t have had to happen. Then the Vietnamese could have had a 25-year head-start developing their stagnant, third-world economy built on turning their rain forests into chopsticks and cheap furniture.
Think about that for a minute. Two nuclear-armed western military powers lost a war which lasted thirty years and cost hundreds of thousands of lives to people who carried cannons on water buffaloes and made sandals out of Jeep tires. And for what? All the Vietnamese did after gaining their independence was to become a bunch of economically mediocre demi-communists, distinguishable from their French colonial masters only by the facts they’ve won a war within the last 5 centuries and don’t eat cheese that smells like feet.
But wait…it gets worse. The following bit of soft-headism really lays out what this is all about.
“We have to look at it because we can’t say, ‘It’s not us. It’s not about Olympics,’” Estanguet told the AP. “The youth, yes they are interested in esport and this kind of thing. Let’s look at it. Let’s meet them. Let’s try if we can find some bridges.”
Again, “building bridges” really shouldn’t be left up to the French, unless you want to see German panzers rolling through the “E-Z Pass” lanes at the toll-booths. In this case, look at what they’re building a bridge to…couch-bound geeks with B-sized man-teats who live on delivery pizza and couldn’t get laid in a women’s prison if they had a fist full of keys. That’s why the very same guys doing the video game thing are the very same ones building sex robots.
What’s really scary is that as a middle-aged man with diminishing testosterone levels, I have a waning interest is sex, especially if there’s a good ball-game on cable. Having said that, all I need to do to understand the appeal of sex robots is tune my television to CNN.
That brings us back to the truly horrifying aspect of all this. Forget about the fact there’s a spot in the article showing a video which asks the question are video games a sport? I’ve already answered that for you. When people talk about dystopian visions of the future, George Orwell’s “1984” is the gold standard. There’s really no denying many things foreseen by the British author have come to fruition; you can’t deny the resemblance between “political correctness” and Orwells “newspeak,” and I’m writing this in fromnt oa big monitor equipped with a camera. All it needs is some harridanish exercise fascist exhorting me to do my daily toe touches.
The bottom line is I really don’t want “Westworld” tacked on to what “1984” has already brought us. Trust me, if we start giving Olympic gold medals to these little techno-pervs, in no time at all we will be knee-deep in sex robots. Then Orwell’s dismal vision of the future gets the addition of silicon gentalia.
I will not have a future of robot fucking because the fucking French can’t afford enough wine for their children.
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I saw that the World Wide Bottom Feeder was showing Cornhole on television the other day.
Corn Hole.
Did you happen to catch it and more importantly a look at the contestants?
Olympic Cornhole is bound to be next.
The Ancient Romans are rolling over in their togas.
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Speaking of Romans, I hear Caligula was a big fan of “corn hole.” (rimshot)
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