The J-Dub Gambling Challenge 2021: Week 13 – The “I Would Walk 500 Miles” Edition

Earworms. We all know them; we all have those tunes that have permeated our eardrums to dig themselves into our cerebral cortices like a tunnel boring machine. You know yours, and thanks to last week’s losses, you’re going to get exposure to one of mine. After all, misery doesn’t just love company, it pushes its way in the door to join it.

See what I did there? It was the dreaded “push” which drove me to distraction this past weekend. Coupled with some even-more-dreaded “non-cover” winners, the J-Dub Gambling Challenge Bankroll took a $500 hit, which means I’m going walk 500 miles this week since now I can’t afford to buy gas.

And there’s the earworm…you’re welcome. Just the mere mention of that song will have that thing drill-biting it’s way into your brain so far the only way to get it out might be with a shotgun.That’s the misery I want to share with you while I’m wearing out my shoe leather.

As far as the coming round of misery, after last week’s five-Franklin haircut ($570 to be exact), the bankroll stands at a season-total $7,170. Yeah, I know that’s still “money ahead,” but I’m a gambler. I would rather walk 500 miles than lose.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):

Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.

That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.

If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.

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The Standard Plays

• Memphis at Houston (-8.5) O/U 61.5 $50 Houston, $50 Under
• Arizona at Washington State (-14) O/U 52.5 $150 Washington State, $150 Over
• Air Force at Nevada (-1.5) O/U 52.5 $100 Air Force
• Virginia at Pittsburgh (-11) O/U 65.5 $75 Pittsburgh, $75 Under
• Southern Methodist at Cincinnati (-11) O/U 65 $100 Cincinnati
• Virginia Tech at Miami (FL) (-8.5) O/U 56.5 $150 Virginia Tech
• Syracuse at North Carolina State (-10) O/U 50.5 $75 North Carolina State
• Michigan State at Ohio State (-18) O/U 63.5 $100 Ohio State, $100 Over
• Nebraska at Wisconsin (-8.5) O/U 43.5 $125 Wisconsin
• Florida (-8.5) at Missouri O/U 69.5 $200 Florida
• Texas at West Virginia (-1) O/U 59.5 $150 Under
• Florida State at Boston College (-1.5) O/U 54.5 $100 Boston College
• Minnesota (-5) at Indiana O/U 43.5 $150 Minnesota
• UCLA (-3) at Southern California O/U 65.5 $100 UCLA

The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet

Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…

Purdue (-11) at Northwestern (at Wrigley Field) O/U 47.5 $100 Purdue

The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:

We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Mississippi Rebels.

Mississippi (-34) at Vanderbilt O/U 64.5 $50 Over

J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:

It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”

Wake Forest at Clemson (-4) O/U 58.5 $500 Clemson

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