Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a eulogy; that’s already been done. Nor is it going to be a rant about baseball’s all-time hits king and the Hall of Fame. Former contributor the late Jason From Indiana took care of that.

Instead, this is one final wave of the money clip to a departed fellow gambler. There’s really no debate that Pete Rose belongs on any list of notorious wagermen. Rose’s tale has some decidedly rough sports, but hard times were a rite of passage for those of us who remember when sports gambling wasn’t just off-limits for athletes, it was straight-up illegal for all of us.

Besides, we all know the baseball story. My question is did Pete rose ever bet on college football? What gambler hasn’t? That’s why my money says damn right he did. Speaking of money, last week saw another base hit for the J-Dub Gambling Challenge bankroll. We pulled in a solid $440 in Week Six, leaving the season’s total $6,248, up from the original $5K.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):

Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.

That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.

If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.

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The Standard Plays

• Texas A&M (-2) at Missouri O/U 48.5 $100 Texas A&M
• Louisville (-6.5) at Southern Methodist O/U 56.5 $50 Southern Methodist
• Mississippi (-9) at South Carolina O/U 51.5 $50 South Carolina, $50 Over
• Indiana (-13.5) at Northwestern O/U 41.5 $200 Indiana
• Iowa at Ohio State (-19.5) O/U 45 $50 Iowa, $50 Under
• West Virginia at Oklahoma State (-3) O/U 64.5 $150 Oklahoma State
• Rutgers at Nebraska (-7) O/U 41 $100 Rutgers
• Clemson (-14.5) at Florida State O/U 48 $200 Clemson
• Tennessee (-13.5) at Arkansas O/U 58 $50 Arkansas
• Michigan at Washington (-2.5) O/U 41.5 $250 Washington

The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet

Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…

Purdue at Wisconsin (-14) O/U 45.5 $100 Wisconsin

The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week

Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.

UCLA at Penn State (-27.5) O/U 46 $25 Penn State, $25 Over

The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:

We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Texas Longhorns.

Texas is idle this week.

J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:

It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”

Southern California (-8.5) at Minnesota O/U 51 $1,000 Southern California

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