The J-Dub Gambling Challenge 2026: The “Hunt For (Getting Out of the) Red October” Edition

It’s nearly impossible to be a communist and a gambler. No gambler worth his chips can believe in any sort of slop that doesn’t embrace the concept of rewarding risk. That’s why in the movie The Hunt for Red October, Captain Ramius wants to abandon a world of phony equality for one where taking a chance can mean a great payday. He believes that so sincerely he risks his life to escape those godless Commies.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a primer on communism vs. capitalism. Regardless of your socio-political stripe, human beings are inherently gamblers. If you didn’t believe that, you wouldn’t be reading this.

Now that we all understand the premise, let’s talk about my payday from last week. Captain Ramius knew about the Volunteers at home against Auburn, and following his advice put a very nice chunk of change in the J-Dub Gambling Challenge bankroll. In fact, the bankroll blasted it’s way back above water like a submarine doing an “emergency breach.” Thanks to Tennessee and some others, last week saw a capital infusion to the tune of $1,593 to bring the season’s total to $6,273…well above the season-starting sea-level of $5K.

While the Cold War may have been relegated to the dustbin of history, there’s a lot of football left. While I may have gotten out of the red in October, there’s been other times where the bankroll has been more like the Edmund Fitzgerald…especially if the gales of November come early.

The Dubsism Legal Department…complete with extra cheese.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):

Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football.

That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.

If you think you have a gambling problem, go find the 800 number on your own. I’m not a goddamn public service announcement.

The Standard Plays

  • Indiana (-5.5) at Nebraska O/U 51 $150 Indiana
  • North Carolina at Pittsburgh (-4.5 ) O/U 44.5 $50 North Carolina, $50 Over
  • South Carolina at Florida (-13.5) O/U 62.5 $75 Florida
  • Tulane at Army (-2.5) O/U 47.5 $50 Army
  • Texas (-8) at Oklahoma O/U 39.5 $100 Over
  • UCLA at Oregon (-11.5) O/U 59 $125 Oregon, $125 Over
  • Illinois (-2.5) at Michigan State O/U 51.5 $100 Illinois, $100 Under
  • Tennessee (-13.5) at Arkansas O/U 51 $250 Tennessee
  • Georgia at Alabama (-1.5) O/U 55.5 $250 Under
  • Southern California at Penn State (-1.5) O/U 54.5 $75 Southern California, $75 Under
  • Louisiana State (-10.5) at Kentucky O/U 54.5 $150 Under
  • Kansas at Utah (-15.5) O/U 52 $100 Utah

The Native North Dakota Bet:

Thanks to having a parent in the U.S. Air Force, I was born in the Peace Garden State. 18 years later, I ended up in college there…but I went to the hockey school, not the football school. But until my alma mater moves up to FBS, I’m betting on “Moo U.”

North Dakota State (-3) at UNLV O/U 51.5 $50 NDSU, $50 Under

The Almost Always Punitive Purdue Bet:

Since I live in the heart of Big Ten country, almost literally in the shadow of Ross-Ade stadium, those around me who know I’m a gambler will invariably ask me about the Boilermakers, so I might as well bet on them…

Minnesota (-2.5) at Purdue O/U 50 $50 Over

The Royally Ridiculous Line of the Week:

Introduced by our own guest columnist King George VI (the grandfather of the current King Charles III), this feature is all about the line of the week that’s so outrageous, it’s almost as crazy as we Americans find the idea of a monarch.

See the Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet

The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:

We went back to the very first college football game in 1869, and the premise is simple…you’re the champ until somebody beats you. The current champion is the Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

Stanford at Notre Dame (-39.5) O/U 54 $100 Over

J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:

It’s like the game says…the idea is to hang on to your cash. That means this is the “big play” of the week; the one that should make today “Payday.”

Texas A&M at Missouri (-3.5) O/U 48.5 $750 Missouri

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