If you remember LeGarrette Blount, you remember the punch; the moment that gave Blount his 15 minutes of fame and made him a 2009 Dubsy award winner. It seems Blount just goes with what he knows. The undrafted, free-agent rookie running back capped off a feisty night practice for the Tennessee Titans with yet another… Read More The Anger Management Classes Must Not Have Stuck
Some dates are forever burned into your memory. July 4th, 1776. December 7th, 1941. September 11th, 2001. In Minnesota, you can add August 18th, 2009 – the day King Brett I ascended to The Throne of the Court of the Purple. This is also the anniversary date of this very blog; it came to be as an outlet… Read More One Year Later, Brett Favre Is Still A Douche; Viking Fans Still Blind
With his tousled blond locks and his piercing blue eyes that matched the blue in the throwback Colts baseball cap he was wearing, Curtis Painter cut quite a GQ-type figure. The problem came when he traded the cap for the helmet. Now, you may ask why would anybody give a damn about the second-string quarterback… Read More You Can Take the Quarterback Out Of Purdue, But You Can’t Take the Purdue Out Of The Quarterback
Was Abe Lincoln honest? Not including what happened this past week, there have been seven prior negotiating sessions between the NFL owners and the Players’ Association. Including what happened this week, they’ve made no progress toward a new collective bargaining agreement (CBA). While the reasons for this may be numerous, a single vision of a… Read More Ask The Geico Guy: Will There Be an NFL Lockout in 2011?
Most people when they hear of Minnesota think brutally cold winters, snow drifts, polar bears, iceberg, the freshness of a York Peppermint patty or anything else that turns your nipples into pencil erasers and chatters your teeth right out of your head. But having lived there, I can tell you that summers can be the… Read More Whenever You Need To See Stupidity, Look No Further Than Minnesota
Those of you who actually read these rants know here at Dubsism we tabbed Tim Tebow as a saint back when he was anointing lepers and circumcising Filipino orphans. You also know we have been dying to see where the combination of Saint Tebow and the Holy Orton would lead us. Apparently just as we… Read More Is He Really Becoming Saint Tebow?
Rankings by Division AFC East Any way you slice it, the Jets made a statement during last season’s playoff win in San Diego. The scary part is they have built on that team since then. Granted, they need to get the holdout situation with Darelle Revis resolved, but once they do, it will be very… Read More The Dubsism 2010 Pre-Season NFL Power Rankings
Yeah, we’ve all been here before. At least we’ve learned over the last four years how this plays out so that we can all really ignore most of this bluster and get back to what matters most: heaping scorn and derision on the false idol Vikings fans have accepted. Tuesday brought us Stage 1: The… Read More The 4th Annual Brett Favre Retirement Party – The One Where You Get to See His Dick
How many times have we been through this story? I’ll have an answer for that as soon as I can borrow NASA’s supercomputer. Favre has been a regular Waffle House; since 2002, he has talked several times about walking away from the game, only to return every goddamn time. King Brett I’s crutch this time… Read More Brett Favre to Retire: In Other News, Sun Rises In The East; Oprah Winfrey Still Fat.
Remember the good old days when the arrest of a sports figure brought lurid tales of sex and/or drugs, or at least a slow-speed Bronco chase? Well, today’s athletes clearly lack that sort of panache when it comes to making the police blotter. In fact, this past week has shown us they’ve become downright lame.… Read More This Week in Silly Arrests
Know who loves the Broncos taking Tim Tebow in the first round? Dicky V. Know who hates the pick? Colin Cowherd. Honestly, I didn’t want to notice this, but after having read Vitale’s pre-draft column extolling the virtues of taking Tejus and listening to Cowherd’s fervent belief Denver may as well have drafted the Flying Nun,… Read More Guess Who Has a Man-Crush on Tim Tebow?
10) Michael Jordan Was the Greatest Athlete of the 20th Century You can thank ESPN for this exercise in the power of the present. Back at the turn of the century, the World Wide Leader published its list of the greatest athletes of the 20th century and placed Jordan at the top of that list. One… Read More The Ten Biggest Fallacies in Sports
It’s official…New Orleans Saints quarterback and Super Bowl MVP Drew Brees is the cover athlete for Madden NFL 11. Brees won out over Minnesota Vikings’ serial drunk-driver defensive end Jared Allen and Indianapolis Colts wide receiver Reggie Wayne in EA Sports’ first fan voting campaign to choose the cover athlete. Of course, this means Brees… Read More Expect Drew Brees To Be Eaten By Giant Cockroaches
It took until the 6th round until somebody drafted Florida State safety Myron Rolle. Really, this is only about three rounds behind where he should have been selected. Normally, one sees a Seminole dropping in the draft and wonders what is on his rap sheet. Strangely enough, we finally found a Seminole with a brain;… Read More Apparently, The NFL Doesn’t Like Smart Guys
It’s amazing what one punch can do. Before last fall’s Falcon Punch, Blount was under legitimate consideration as an NFL Draft Pick. Even afterward, many thought he had rebuilt his stock enough to be taken in the 3rd or 4th round. But for some reason, the NFL guys had a different opinion; they selected Blount in the… Read More LeGarrette Blount Undrafted; Perhaps He Should Slug Ben Roethlisberger
At least in the NFL, there is a penalty for piling on. Now that Ben Roethlisberger has been legitimately disgraced, the stories of what a complete toolbag Big Ben has been are streaming on to the Net. Some of them are so priceless letting them go by unnoticed would be a violation of my Blogger’s… Read More Roethlisberger: Now The Stories Really Start Coming Out of the Woodwork
Now that the Denver Broncos have drafted Tim Tebow, as a “project” player, his mentor at quarterback will be none other than The Neckbeard. Let that sink in for a moment. On one side, there’s Tebow, who between his superhuman exploits at Florida and his habitual walking across lakes to heal injured swans might as well… Read More Tim Tebow and Kyle Orton Together: It’s Biblical
In a move designed both to lessen the impact of Ben Roethlisberger’s impending 6-game “give or take” suspension, the Pittsburgh Steelers have traded the beleaguered quarterback to the Duke Lacrosse Team. While details of the deal have not yet been made official as of this time, reports have Duke Lacrosse sending two defense attorneys and… Read More BREAKING NEWS: Ben Roethlisberger Traded
For those of you unfamiliar with the term “Wingman,” it is simply a guy who will run some interference while you attempt to secure female companionship for the evening. Think of it an offensive lineman blocking off the ugly chick while you as the quarterback look to go deep with her hot friend. This is a… Read More Willie Colon Is No Longer Willing To Be Ben Roethlisberger’s “Wingman”
The last time I weighed in on this case, I made it a point to state that rushing to judgement in a criminal matter was a mistake; that time was needed for the process to play itself out. I stated that it is CRUCIAL that the facts of what actually happened come to light. Until then,… Read More Roethlisberger: Time to Write a Check
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