As we find ourselves on the verge of another NFL season, it is time for the degenerate gambler in me to preview the carnage. Let’s face it, the NFL is comprised of three classes: Really Good, Mediocre, and Lousy. This means NFL predictions are pretty easy to get reasonably correct. For example, the online sports… Read More The Dubsism 2011 Pre-Season NFL Power Rankings
First, let me define the concept of Cubsism. Named for the Chicago Cubs, Cubsism is an ideaology that permeates a sports franchise. It is characterized by the ability to be essentially viable while remaining an exercise in futulity on the field. It is named for the Cubs because no other franchise in sports embodies it nearly… Read More Dubsism on Cubsism
Editor’s Note: Mr. McGrath has long and storied history in the management of professional sports franchises, most notably as the general manager of the Charlestown Chiefs of the now-defunct Federal League. Oh, and this is probably a good time to mention that Mr. McGrath’s views are his own, and do not necessarily reflect those of Dubsism, our staff,… Read More Guest Column: Joe McGrath on Which NFL Teams Are Most Likely To Move To Los Angeles
We all remember this. It was the perfect metaphor for a shitty stadium that houses a shitty franchise which has nothing but a shitty future. But at least stadium-wise, Minnesota’s long nightmare is over. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men found a way to put the HumptyDome back together again. One of… Read More Metrodome Roof Raised In Time For Another Season of Shitty Viking Football
The sporting world is full of rivalries which engender so much passion there are clear battle lines drawn between the camps. But what happens to those of us who may feel animus toward both sides? Here’s a list of several such examples that make the collective colon here at Dubsism slam shut like a steel… Read More Famous Sports Rivalries In Which I Hate Both Sides
#10) Minnesota Vikings What can I say about the Vikings that I haven’t already said? Go over to the tag cloud on the right, click on the “Minnesota Vikings” tag, and you will see that I’ve written the Vikings’ football miasma time and time again. But that’s because there’s so much to write about. Even… Read More The Ten Most Dysfunctional Franchises In Professional Sports
In all honesty, one can make a bunch of jokes about how the roof of the “Humptydome” coming down is just a metaphor for all the terrible teams that have played under the Teflon Sky. Make a list and see the trail of sporting tears that have called the Metrodome home. The only resident still… Read More The Real Reason The Metrodome Roof Collapsed
Seriously, when it comes to the Minnesota Vikings, I’m getting tired of giving the “I Told You So Speech.” The very first post in the history of this blog was a rant about the attention being paid to a beat-up “has been” who stood little chance of getting the Vikings into the Super Bowl. Even… Read More The “I Told You So” Speech on Randy Moss – The Breakdown
This is the problem faced by the NFL. The Roethlisberger incident set the precedent in which the NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell acted swiftly and decisively handing out punishment in a instance where there was determined to be no criminal conduct. Now, you have an issue involving the biggest “box office” draw in the league with some pretty solid evidence of a crime being committed (we checked, it is in fact illegal to send people pictures of your wiener). … Read More Brett Favre’s Penis and Other Things Roger Goodell Doesn’t Want To Touch
According to ESPN’s Adam Schefter, the Vikings are expected to close a deal with New England today to acquire Randy Moss. Forget that Minnesota ran Moss out of town in 2004. Forget that Randy Moss has never once passed the “Net Difference” test. And for now, forget that Randy Moss is in a contract year.… Read More Whenever You Need To See Desparation, Just Look Toward Minnesota
Over on Listverse, there has been another great-yet-odd list compiled. While the subject doesn’t matter nearly as much as the fact that I found it comparable to a somehow-sports-related screed, it is really hard to resist a list of people who were killed by radiation. Just think, the same power that heats up your lunch in… Read More Ten Famous Deaths By Radiation Poisoning and Their Equivalent Sports Firings
Have you ever seen one of those incidents like a car accident where there are body part laying in the streets and fuel tanks rocketing flame into the air and some cop is standing there waving people away with the phrase “move along, nothing to see here…” It sounds stupid then, and it sounded equally… Read More Adrian “Fumbl-icious” Peterson Says “Move Along…Nothing to See Here”
Trying to read what Brett Favre is going to do is nearly impossible, unless of course you are one of the approximately 300+ people who have picked off his passes. There’s a very good football blog called The Shutdown Corner which tried to do this with Brett Favre’s press conference announcing that he would return… Read More Where The Shutdown Corner And Dubsism Disagree
Most people when they hear of Minnesota think brutally cold winters, snow drifts, polar bears, iceberg, the freshness of a York Peppermint patty or anything else that turns your nipples into pencil erasers and chatters your teeth right out of your head. But having lived there, I can tell you that summers can be the… Read More Whenever You Need To See Stupidity, Look No Further Than Minnesota
Rankings by Division AFC East Any way you slice it, the Jets made a statement during last season’s playoff win in San Diego. The scary part is they have built on that team since then. Granted, they need to get the holdout situation with Darelle Revis resolved, but once they do, it will be very… Read More The Dubsism 2010 Pre-Season NFL Power Rankings
Yeah, we’ve all been here before. At least we’ve learned over the last four years how this plays out so that we can all really ignore most of this bluster and get back to what matters most: heaping scorn and derision on the false idol Vikings fans have accepted. Tuesday brought us Stage 1: The… Read More The 4th Annual Brett Favre Retirement Party – The One Where You Get to See His Dick
How many times have we been through this story? I’ll have an answer for that as soon as I can borrow NASA’s supercomputer. Favre has been a regular Waffle House; since 2002, he has talked several times about walking away from the game, only to return every goddamn time. King Brett I’s crutch this time… Read More Brett Favre to Retire: In Other News, Sun Rises In The East; Oprah Winfrey Still Fat.
First of all, I don’t mean that kind of fanstasy quarterback. I mean fantasy in its traditional sense, as in not real. Ever since Brett Favre hit Minnesota, Viking fans have been having a fantasy that this aged wonder will lead them to the championship they so desperately crave. It’s not going to happen; there’s… Read More Open Letter to Minnesota Viking Fans: Get a Better Fantasy Quarterback
In the ongoing trial involving Minnesota Vikings’ defensive tackles Kevin and Pat Williams and the weight-loss supplement StarCaps, the core question at hand is whether the NFL violated Minnesota law by suspending the two players. Granted, this case is no different from most legal cases as it involves some complexities that aren’t immediately apparent. One of the witnesses… Read More The Favre-gasm Is Now A Matter of Public Record
As if you didn’t know…as if you haven’t read this story before. Brett Favre can’t make up his mind. In other news, the sun will rise in the east, the ocean is wet, and Minnesota Viking fans are suckers. Without going into a great amount of detail, Favre is dooming the future of this franchise. The… Read More BREAKING NEWS: Favre Suddenly Indecisive
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