Tag: Signs We Are Near The End of Civilization

Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Terrell Owens Hires “Find-A-Date”

So, a professional athlete who is worth millions of dollars can’t get a woman. That officially makes going to the gym today exceptionally pointless. If T.O.’s washboards abs and seven-figure salary can’t get him laid, why the hell am I killing myself on the Stairmaster? Flamboyant footballer Terrell Owens has tapped a matchmaking service to… Read More Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Terrell Owens Hires “Find-A-Date”

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Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Midnight Football Practice

A Michigan high school football team has made a rather unique decision to start holding practices during overnight. Did he do this to avoid the summer heat? Did he do this as some sort of punishment?  No, it turns out he is yet another example of knuckling under to stupidity. Fordson High, located in Dearborn,… Read More Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Midnight Football Practice

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Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Colored Turf UPDATE

Sadly, this crap is coming back to light.  Just this past weekend, College GameDay did a piece on the Smurf Turf at Boise State, and its new colored counterpart at Eastern Washington University. We here at Dubsism pointed this out a while back, but we just discovered a far more sinister aspect. Apparently, blue turf… Read More Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Colored Turf UPDATE

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Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Brett Favre

There are dates on which everybody remembers where they were because some infamous event occurred on that day. December 7th, 1941…January 28th, 1986…September 11th, 2001. Perhaps it is only for me, but I would add August 3rd, 2010 to that list of infamy. Like I said, you may not remember what happened that day, but… Read More Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Brett Favre

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Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Hair Insurance

Gee, your hair smells like a million bucks. Celebrities have insured body parts before, but this is the first time that someone insured a part of the body that can grow back.  Pittsburgh Steelers All-Pro safety Troy Polamalu recently took precautionary measures to ensure that his luscious 3-foot locks are insured and fully protected. Head… Read More Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Hair Insurance

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Signs We Are Near The End of Civilization: Tim McCarver is Cutting An Album

How many times have I wondered what  a slightly boozy, slightly senile catcher-turned-announcer would sound like singing all the old standards? Well, now my prayers have been answered. But here’s the thing – by the sound of it, McCarver can really sing. When the Fox telecast cut back from a break they showed the Phillie Phanatic… Read More Signs We Are Near The End of Civilization: Tim McCarver is Cutting An Album

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Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Wisconsin Bans Beer Ads During Football Games

The University of Wisconsin, the epicenter of higher learning in the same state that brought you tail-gating in sub-zero weather drinking some sort of homemade concoction from a plastic jug, has determined that exposure to alcohol is not healthy for their legions of fans. So, in their higher wisdom, they have discontinued beer ads during… Read More Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Wisconsin Bans Beer Ads During Football Games

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Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Fantasy Championship Rings

Believe it or not, there is a fine line between being a fantasy sports geek, and being a truly sad and pathetic creature worthy of only scorn, derision, and occasional pity. If you follow this link and think it’s a great idea, you have pole-vaulted across that line. Seriously, enjoying fantasy sports is one thing… Read More Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Fantasy Championship Rings

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Signs We Are Near the End of Civilization: Fantasy Football Insurance

I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve been known to be a fantasy sports geek. But you have to admit, this is a past-time that has crept up on our sporting enjoyment like an Apache raiding party thirsty for scalps. Fantasy mentality has firmly established itself in many areas of sports discussion; nowhere more so… Read More Signs We Are Near the End of Civilization: Fantasy Football Insurance

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