File Dump: The Bobby Bowden Edition
It is an official position of Dubsism that Bobby Bowden is an Anti-Christ; he represented all that was wrong with college football, and many things that are just wrong in the universe in general. This means we here at Dubsism had lots of material in our files on Bowden; a lot of material that became quite likely to never get used upon his retirement. However, some of this stuff is just far too precious to die in a file folder somewhere.
Now, I understand being a Penn State fan puts me in a bit of a “Glass Houses” situation when it comes to old coaches and possible incontinence issues, but at least Joe Paterno never needed anybody to wake him up and tell him what was happening during the game.
Granted, this is another one of those “Glass Houses” moments, but look at the upside, Seminole fans…Bowden has already outdone Bear Bryant’s post-retirement lifespan.
Of course, the secret to staying healthy in retirement is staying active. So, stop by the Tallahassee Wal-Mart to say “Howdy, Dadgum-it” to Bobby.
One of the reasons why we here at Dubsism believe Bowden is an Anti-Christ is that he clearly made a deal with the dark forces to win that BCS championship.
An important part of any crooked program is a crooked leader. Granted, Bobby didn’t drive any of the getaway cars, but he clearly turned a blind eye to far too many criminal exploits.
After all, Bowden’s players were such a large part of the Florida penal system they also found it necessary to immortalize the coach.
In any event, now that Bowden is gone and Florida State has been relegated back to the mediocrity it deserves, we can all rest assured safe in the knowledge that we will never have to suffer the elder Bowden on the sidelines again.
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