What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions
For the fourth January in a row, we here at Dubsism will be handing out our coveted awards for various acheivements in the world of sport. If you are unfamiliar, you can check out the two previous Dubsy awards here, here, and here. But the one thing we are doing differently this year is opening the floor for nominations for you, the blog-reading public who clearly has nothing better to do than read this dreck.
If you have time to read this, you likely have read a lot of other sports stuff, and therefore likely have a better idea of to whom to give this awards than our drunken bunch of keyboard droolers does. You can always check out our previous awards should you have any questions as the reasons for which the awards are given. You can also Google the people for whom the awards are named; both are telling, but most are pretty self-explanatory.
Having said that, here is the Dubsy award nomination ballot. Simply fill in your nominees (be sure to include pertinent facts; links to supporting evidence are always welcome, and depending on the reason for nomination, may be required by the Dubsism legal department), then copy and paste your ballot into an email addressed to firstname.lastname@example.org.
There are very few criteria for submitting a ballot:
We also will be giving honorable mentions to the best nominees which are pretty damn good, but didn’t win. For those, we will post your name and a link to your blog/webpage if you wish. If you don’t wish, then don’t give it to us…
Your Blog/Website/Facebook Page so people can worship your brilliant nomination:
The Mickey Klutts Award for Unfortunate Naming
Previous Winner: Chicago Bears fullback Tyler Clutts
The Bobby Knight Award for Achievements in Dramatic Public Meltdowns
Previous Winner: UTEP basketball head coach Tim Floyd
The Bevo and Ralphie Award for Mascot Buffoonery
Previous Winner: Scorch, mascot for the Boston Blazers
The Budd Dwyer Award for Excellence in Career Suicide
Previous Winner: Former Washington Nationals Manager Jim Riggleman
The Ed Hochuli Award for the Best Call
Previous Winner: The Signs of the #OccupyGameDay Movement
The Jason Sehorn Award for Being Completely Overrated
Previous Winner: Kim Kardashian
The Clinton-Nixon Award for Cover-Up Futility
Previous Winner: Former Penn State President Graham Spanier
The Charles O. Finley Award for Achievements in Cheap
Previous Winner: The Tampa Bay Rays
The Joe Kapp Award for Being Run Out of Town
Previous Winner: Former Boston Red Sox Manager Terry Francona
The Bobby Layne Award for Best Performance While Drunk
Previous Winner: Former U.S. Ski Team Member Robert “Sandy” Vietze
The Artis Gilmore Award for Achievements in Hair Boldness
Previous Winner: Minnesota Timberwolves forward Michael Beasly
The Kyle Orton Award for Achievements in Partying
Previous Winner: Dallas Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki
The Vasily Alexseyev Award For Plus-Sized Achievements
Previous Winner: New England Partriots defensive tackle Vince Wilfork
The Vinko Bogotaj Award For Epic Failure
Previous Winner: The NBA Owners and the Player’s Union
The Joe Theismann Award For Gruesome Injuries
This is a new award which is named after the former Redskins quarterback who in the years before he was hawking prostrate drugs was getting extra corners in his leg on Monday Night Football. Sports is now, and has always been filled with injuries that make us all throw up in our mouths a little bit, so why not recognize the great ones.
The Gene Mauch Lifetime Achievement Award
This award is given annually to somebody who has been around forever, but never won anything.
Previous Winner: Former Utah Jazz head coach Jerry Sloan
Nominations will be accepted until 3 p.m. Eastern (U.S.) time on Wednesday, January 2nd, 2013.
Let your voice be heard, Dubsists. There’s over to 800,000 of you out there, so let’s really make these awards mean something…we simply cannot let the ESPYs stand as the standard in sports awards. Who gives a shit about what “30 by 30″ movie was the best? Let’s make sure we are giving award for things we care about.
After all, aren’t we as the fans what make sports matter in the first place?