What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions

The 2018 Baseball Trading Deadline – The “Shark Week” Comparison

Thanks to the Discovery Channel, Shark Week has become a phenomenon. Also, thanks to the Discovery Channel for moving Shark Week back to the end of July so we didn’t have to go through a lot of gymnastics to keep doing our annual salute to giant predatory fish and how they compare to the shark-tank that is the baseball trading deadline.

That deadline passed earlier this week, and again, I’m here to break down who were the big eaters and who got eaten.  The bottom line is trading in baseball is a shark-eat-shark world; that’s where the comparisons lie.


Because no matter what, one thing is certain.  Where there is trading, there is bleeding, and nothing draws the sharks like blood in the water.

Whale Shark:

whale shark

1) Baltimore Orioles:

  • Got: RHP Dillon Tate, RHP Cody Carroll, LHP Josh Rogers (From New York Yankees), OF Yusniel Diaz, 3B Rylan Bannon, RHP Dean Kremer, RHP Zach Pop, INF Breyvic Valera (From Los Angeles Dodgers),RHP Evan Phillips, INF Jean Carlos Encarnacion, C Brett Cumberland, LHP Bruce Zimmerman, International bonus pool money (From Atlanta Braves), INF Jonathan Villar, RHP Luis Ortiz, INF Jean Carmona (From Milwaukee Brewers)
  • Gave Up: LHP Zach Britton, SS Manny Machado, 2B Jonathan Schoop, RHP Kevin Gausman and RHP Darren O’Day

2) Tampa Rays:

  • Got: RHP Brian Shaffer, C Michael Perez (From Arizona Diamondbacks), LHP Jalen Beeks, International signing slot (From Atlanta Braves), Cash Considerations (From Minnesota Twins), LHP Hoby Milner, Player to be named later or cash considerations (From Philadelphia Phillies), RHP Andrew Moore, RHP Tommy Romero (From Seattle Mariners),  International bonus pool money (From Chicago White Sox), OF Tommy Pham, International bonus pool money (From St. Louis Cardinals)
  • Gave Up: RHP Chris Archer, LHP Hunter Schryver, LHP Johnny Venters, RHP Matt Andriese, OF Jeremy Hazelbaker, RHP Alex Colome, OF Denard Span, C Wilson Ramos, LHP Genesis Cabrera, OF Justin Williams, RHP Roel Ramirez, Cash considerations

One of the great fallacious idioms in American English is the term “eats like a bird,” which means the exact opposite of reality.  Birds actually consume tremendous amounts of food as they burn huge amounts of energy.  So it makes sense that a team with a bird mascot would pair with one having an actual filter feeder would earn our distinction for the teams which floated through the trade season, gobbling up every little creature in the sea; nobody realizing the staggering tonnage they’ve actually consumed.

Great White Shark:

1) New York Yankees:

  • Got: 1B Luke Voit (From St. Louis Cardinals), International bonus pool money (From Chicago White Sox, St. Louis Cardinals, Seattle Mariners), LHP J.A. Happ (From Toronto Blue Jays), LHP Zach Britton (From Baltimore Orioles), International bonus cash (From Milwaukee Brewers), RHP Lance Lynn, Cash considerations (From Minnesota Twins)
  • Gave Up: LHP Caleb Frare, 3B Brandon Drury, OF Billy McKinney, RHP Dillon Tate, RHP Cody Carroll, LHP Josh Rogers, RHP Chad Whitmer, RHP Luis Rijo, 1B/OF Tyler Austin, RHP Adam Warren

2) Los Angeles Dodgers:

  • Got: INF Manny Machado (From Baltimore Orioles), 2B Brian Dozier (From Minnesota Twins), RHP John Axford (From Toronto Blue Jays)
  • Gave Up:  OF Yusniel Diaz, 3B Rylan Bannon, RHP Dean Kremer, RHP Zach Pop, INF Breyvic Valera, 2B Logan Forsythe, OF Luke Raley, LHP Devin Smeltzer, RHP Corey Copping

Carcharodon carcharias, a.k.a the Great White Shark, is the “star” of Shark Week, and this distinction goes to the team(s) which gave us the “teeth-sawing-through-the-seal” style carnage we expect.  There’s really no denying the Yankees and the Dodgers sank their teeth into the biggest fish in this year’s trading pond.

Tiger Shark:

Atlanta Braves:

  • Got: LHP Johnny Venters (From Tampa Rays), RHP Brad Brach, RHP Kevin Gausman, RHP Darren O’Day (From Baltimore Orioles), OF Adam Duvall (From Cincinnati Reds)
  • Gave Up: RHP Evan Phillips, INF Jean Carlos Encarnacion, C Brett Cumberland, LHP Bruce Zimmerman, RHP Lucas Sims, RHP Matt Wisler, OF Preston Tucker, International signing slot, International bonus pool money

Tiger sharks are known to eat just about anything, and there couldn’t be a better description of a team which revamped it’s pitching staff and added a major chunk of lumber in Adam Duvall.

Bull Shark: 

1) Milwaukee Brewers:

  • Got: 3B Mike Moustakas (From Kansas City Royals), RHP Joakim Soria (From Chicago White Sox), RHP Chad Whitmer (From New York Yankees), 2B Jonathan Schoop (From Baltimore Orioles)
  • Gave Up: OF Brett Phillips, RHP Jorge Lopez, INF Jonathan Villar, RHP Luis Ortiz, INF Jean Carmona, International bonus cash

2) Philadelphia Phillies:

  • Got: INF Asdrubal Cabrera (From New York Mets),  LHP Hoby Milner, C Wilson Ramos (From Tampa Rays), LHP Aaron Loup (From Toronto Blue Jays)
  • Gave Up: RHP Franklyn Kilome,  RHP Jacob Waguespack, Player to be named later, and Cash considerations

Bull sharks are underappreciated for the fact they actually account for the most attacks on humans.  While what these two teams did at the deadline doesn’t have “seal carnage” of the moves made by the Yankees and Dodgers, make no mistake. These teams are dangerous.

Mako Shark:

1) Seattle Mariners:

  • Got: RHP Sam Tuivailala (From St. Louis Cardinals),  RHP Alex Colome, OF Denard Span (From Tampa Rays), LHP Zach Duke (From Minnesota Twins),  RHP Adam Warren (From New York Yankees), OF Cameron Maybin (From Miami Marlins)
  • Gave Up: RHP Seth Elledge, RHP Andrew Moore, RHP Tommy Romero, RHP Chase De Jong, INF Ryan Costello, IF Bryson Brigman, International bonus pool money

2) Cleveland Indians:

  • Got: RP Brad Hand, RP Adam Cimber (From San Diego Padres), RHP James Hoyt (From Houston Astros), OF Oscar Mercado (From St. Louis Cardinals), CF Leonys Martin, RHP Kyle Dowdy (From Cleveland Indians)
  • Gave Up: C Francisco Mejia, RHP Tommy DeJuneas, OF Conner Capel, OF Jhon Torres, SS Willi Castro

3) Arizona Diamondbacks:

  • Got: IF Eduardo Escobar (From Minnesota Twins), RHP Matt Andriese (From Tampa Rays), OF Jon Jay (From Kansas City Royals), LHP Jake Diekman, Cash considerations (From Texas Rangers), RHP Brad Ziegler (From Miami Marlins)
  • Gave Up: RHP Jhoan Duran, OF Gabriel Maciel, OF Ernie De La Trinidad, RHP Brian Shaffer. C Michael Perez, LHP Gabe Speier, RHP Elvis Luciano, RHP Wei-Chieh Huang, RHP Tommy Eveld, Player to be named later

Look at that fucking thing. If you had that on your hook, you’d pre-shit your pants the first time you saw it breach the surface. Then when you got it into the boat, you would finish the job. It’s easy to overlook the Mariners given the fact they are racing for a Wild-Card berth, the Indians are dominating a dull division, and the Diamondbacks can be a model of inconsistencybut these teams just gave themselves much better shots at taking a real bite out of somebody’s October dreams.

Hammerhead Shark:

Boston Red Sox:

  • Got: RHP Nathan Eovaldi (From Tampa Rays), 1B/OF Steve Pearce, Cash considerations (From Toronto Blue Jays),  2B Ian Kinsler (From Los Angeles Angels)
  • Gave Up: LHP Jalen Beeks, SS Santiago Espinal

The hammerhead scans the sea floor feeding on crabs and other creatures found on the bottom.   That may not seem like much, but hammerheads can reach 15 feet in length and can be seriously fearsome.  The Red Sox didn’t make the noise their division rivals in New York did, but make no mistake; the Red Sox are not bottom-feeders and are in this race to stay.

Blacktip Reef Shark:

Pittsburgh Pirates:

  • Got:  RHP Keone Kela (From Texas Rangers), RHP Chris Archer (From Tampa Rays)
  • Gave Up: LHP Taylor Hearn, RHP Tyler Glasnow, OF Austin Meadows, two Players to be named later

Reef sharks don’t get a lot of time during Shark Week, but they serve a necessary purpose. In other words, the deals the Pirates made may not mean much as I don’t think the Pirates have the sharks to swim with the Cubs or the Brewers. Nevertheless, I love the Archer deal as they got a great, young pitcher have him under contract until 2021.


1) Texas Rangers:

  • Got: RHP Eddie Butler, RHP Rollie Lacy, LHP Tyler Thomas, and a player to be named later (From Chicago Cubs), RHP Wei-Chieh Huang and Player to be named later (From Arizona Diamondbacks)
  • Gave Up: LHP Cole Hamels, RHP Jesse Chavez, LHP Taylor Hearn, LHP Jake Diekman, Player to be named later, Cash considerations

2) Kansas City Royals:

  • GotOF Brett Phillips, RHP Jorge Lopez (From Milwaukee Brewers), OF Brian Goodwin, OF Blake Perkins, 3B Kelvin Gutierrez, RHP Yohanse Morel (From Washington Nationals), LHP Gabe Speier, RHP Elvis Luciano (From Arizona Diamondbacks)
  • Gave Up: 3B Mike Moustakas, RHP Jacob Condra-Bogan,  RHP Kelvin Herrera, OF Jon Jay

3) Toronto Blue Jays:

  • Got: 3B Brandon Drury, OF Billy McKinney (From New York Yankees), SS Santiago Espinal (From Boston Red Sox), RHP Ken Giles, RHP Hector Perez, RHP David Paulino (From Houston Astros), RHP Jacob Waguespack (From Philadelphia Phillies)
  • Gave Up: LHP J.A. Happ, 1B Chad Spanberger, OF Forrest Wall, RHP Roberto Osuna, RHP John Axford, LHP Aaron Loup, and Cash considerations

4) Washington Nationals:

  • Got: RHP Jacob Condra-Bogan, RHP Kelvin Herrera (From Kansas City Royals), RHP Jhon Romero (From Chicago Cubs)
  • Gave Up: OF Brian Goodwin, OF Blake Perkins, 3B Kelvin Gutierrez, RHP Yohanse Morel, RHP Brandon Kintzler

This fish gets it name from the Latin term “remora” meaning “delay, hindrance, passive resistance.”  The naming stems from the fact these fish attach themselves to larger sharks and live off the remnants of the larger fish’s feedings.  It was also believed remoras would attach themselves to ships and slow them down..  For purposes of this discussion, our remoras for 2018 are three teams clearly in re-building mode and one that may be one off-season away from that same fate.

Bathtub Toy Shark:

1) St. Louis Cardinals:

  • Got: LHP Chasen Shreve, RHP Giovanny Gallegos (from New York Yankees), RHP Seth Elledge (From Seattle Mariners), OF Conner Capel, OF Jhon Torres (From Cleveland Indians), LHP Genesis Cabrera, OF Justin Williams, RHP Roel Ramirez
  • Gave Up: 1B Luke Voit, OF Oscar Mercado, OF Tommy Pham, International bonus pool money

2) Los Angeles Angels:

  • GotLHP Patrick Sandoval and international bonus pool money (From Houston Astros), RHP Ty Buttrey, LHP Williams Jerez (From Boston Red Sox)
  • Gave Up: C Martin Maldonado,  2B Ian Kinsler

3) Chicago White Sox:

  • Got:  LHP Caleb Frare (from New York Yankees), LHP Kodi Medeiros, RHP Wilber Perez (From Milwaukee Brewers), LHP Hunter Schryver (From Tampa Rays)
  • Gave Up: RHP Joakim Soria, International bonus pool money

Like a bathtub squeaky toy, these trades really didn’t help these teams, but they didn’t really hurt them either.  Realistically squeezing the squeaky rubber shark toy is the only noise these teams will be making in 2018.

Japanese Paper Lantern Shark:

Japanese paper lantern sharks

1) Miami Marlins:

  • Got: IF Bryson Brigman, International bonus pool money (From Seattle Mariners), RHP Tommy Eveld (From Arizona Diamondbacks)
  • Gave Up: OF Cameron Maybin, RHP Brad Ziegler

2) Cincinnati Reds:

  • Got: RHP Lucas Sims, RHP Matt Wisler, OF Preston Tucker (From Atlanta Braves)
  • Gave Up: OF Adam Duvall

3) Oakland A’s:

  • Got: RHP Jeurys Familia (From New York Mets)
  • Gave Up: 3B William Toffey, RHP Bobby Wahl, and international bonus pool money

The only way to be more insignificant than a bathtub toy shark is to be one that completely disintegrates the minute it  touches water.  The Reds traded away thunder-bat Adam Duvall, the Marlins gave away a pretty damn good bullpen guy, and in return, they got what could be baseball’s “bag of magic beans.”

Meanwhile, the A’s cashed in their own bag of beans for another solid addition to their bullpen, but as discussed in a recent installment of The Deep Six, I’m not sure the A’s have any more beans to trade.

CPO Sharkey:

1) Colorado Rockies:

  • Got: RHP Seung-Hwan Oh (From Toronto Blue Jays)
  • Gave Up1B Chad Spanberger, OF Forrest Wall, and cash considerations

2) New York Mets:

  • Got: RHP Franklyn Kilome (From Philadelphia Phillies), 3B William Toffey, RHP Bobby Wahl, International bonus pool money (From Oakland A’s)
  • Gave Up: INF Asdrubal Cabrera

3) Detroit Tigers:

  • Got: SS Willi Castro (From Cleveland Indians)
  • Gave Up: CF Leonys Martin, RHP Kyle Dowdy

This is a new category for 2018.  If you aren’t familiar, CPO Sharkey was a short-lived 1970’s sit-com featuring one of my comedic heroes, Don Rickles.  How could you have a show featuring the king of “insult” comedy surrounded by a cast of perfectly insult-able characters and it doesn’t work?  That’s the distinction for this category; teams which could have done so much more with what they had, and putted completely short of the cup.

The Chum Bucket:

1) Minnesota Twins:

  • Got: RHP Jorge Alcala, OF Gilberto Celestino (From Houston Astros), OF Jeremy Hazelbaker (From Tampa Rays), RHP Chase De Jong, INF Ryan Costello (From Seattle Mariners), RHP Luis Rijo, 1B/OF Tyler Austin (From New York Yankees), 2B Logan Forsythe, OF Luke Raley, LHP Devin Smeltzer (From Los Angeles Dodgers)
  • Gave Up2B Brian Dozier, RHP Ryan Pressly, IF Eduardo Escobar,  LHP Zach Duke, RHP Lance Lynn, Cash considerations

2) San Diego Padres:

  • Got: C Francisco Mejia (From Cleveland Indians)
  • Gave Up: RP Brad Hand, RP Adam Cimber

For the second year in a row, The Minnesota Twins land in the chum bucket because they spooned up a bunch of slop, although to their credit, they got a lot more for Lance Lynn than he’s worth.  As far as the Padres concerned, that organization is beginning to take on the aroma of a bucket of fish guts ripening in the southern California sun. 

The Sharknado:


1) Chicago Cubs:

  • Got: LHP Cole Hamels, RHP Jesse Chavez, and cash considerations (From Texas Rangers), RHP Brandon Kintzler (From Washington Nationals)
  • Gave Up: RHP Eddie Butler, RHP Rollie Lacy, LHP Tyler Thomas, RHP Jhon Romero, and a player to be named later

2) Houston Astros:

  • Got: RHP Ryan Pressly (From Minnesota Twins), C Martin Maldonado (From Los Angeles Angels), RHP Tommy DeJuneas (From Cleveland Indians), RHP Roberto Osuna (From Toronto Blue Jays)
  • Gave Up: RHP Jorge Alcala, OF Gilberto Celestino, LHP Patrick Sandoval, RHP Ken Giles, RHP Hector Perez, RHP David Paulino, and International bonus pool money

As mentioned when this category was introduced la few years back, the “Sharknado” is a “wild-card” category.  The strength of those movies is in the cameo appearances; you never really know who is going to show up.  When it comes to baseball, teams end up here because we really have no idea how their deals are going to work.

That’s why every single year this category has been in existence, it has featured the Chicago Cubs.  For one to a big believer in what the North-Siders did at the deadline, buying into what Cole Hamels.  That’s means believing a 34-year old guy with a 4.72 ERA and a WHIP north of 1.3 just needs “a change of scenery.”  Given the Cubs recent history with acquired/free-agent pitchers, the door to doubt this deal has the desired effect is very much open.

The Astros caught a lot of flack picking up Roberto Osuna at the deadline.  There was a lot of politically-correct hand-wringing over trading for a guy under a cloud of domestic violence charges; all of which missed the real baseball question..  After serving a 75-game suspension, how does anybody know Osuna didn’t fill his half-season off with Netflix and Coors Light; gaining 40 pounds and losing his fastball?

Those unknowns are why we call it the “Sharknado,” sports fans.

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About J-Dub

What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

2 comments on “The 2018 Baseball Trading Deadline – The “Shark Week” Comparison

  1. SportsChump
    August 7, 2018

    It’s gotten to the point where I can barely name a player on the Rays roster.

    For the record, they have four players now on their roster making over a mil a year.

    And yes, I get that they’re kinda, sorta in contention for the Wild Card but that’s because the rest of the teams in the American League are a steaming pile of dung.
    And you can tell ’em I said that.


    • J-Dub
      August 7, 2018

      Uhhh…aren’t you the guy who keeps telling me he doesn’t watch baseball anymore?


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This entry was posted on August 4, 2018 by in Baseball, Humor, Sports and tagged , , , , , , .

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