Dubsism

What your view of sports and life would be if you had too many concussions

Classic Movies My Wife Hates – Episode 4: “Thunderbolt and Lightfoot”

  • Today’s Movie: Thunderbolt and Lightfoot
  • Year of Release: 1974
  • Stars: Clint Eastwood, Jeff Bridges, George Kennedy
  • Director: Micheal Cimino

This movie is not on my list of essential films.

If you aren’t familiar with this film , it’s easy to see it as just another “Heist” flick and leave it at that. Not only “Thunderbolt and Lightfoot” have all the trappings of a classic caper tale, it works a a “buddy” movie with some comic twists thrown in.  Salt it all with a tremendous cast from the stars through some great characters actors and in my book it’s a “can’t miss” for a pretty damn good movie.

But Mrs. J-Dub hates it.

The question is…do you agree?

DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed in this piece are those of Mrs. J-Dub and do not necessarily reflect those of J-Dub, Dubsism, or anybody else to whom you might want to send hate mail. Also be advised that this does contain some mild spoilers.

Reason #1) “How many priests look like Clint Eastwood?”

Why She Says That

You have to give her this one.  Jeff Bridges says it in the opening scene of this movie, and he isn’t wrong. Neither is Mrs. J-Dub. Despite the horn-rims and the collar, we all still see “Dirty Harry.”

Reason #2) “Speaking of looks, how many small town bimbos are as smoking hot as Catherine “Daisy Duke” Bach?

Why She Says That:

In the immortal words of Jerry Reed, when you’re hot, you’re hot. Catherine Bach is most assuredly hot, and Mrs. J-Dub is most assuredly right again.

Reason #3) “What the fuck is George Kennedy’s problem?”

Why She Says That:

To be fair, she made this comment before she really understood the plot of the film.  To be even more fair, once you have this movie figured out, there really isn’t any debating that even with the “revenge” factor motivating him, Kennedy’s character is half a scoop shy of a banana split.  Speaking of which…

Reason #4) “Who the hell buys these jailbirds as ice cream men?”

Why She Says That:

If only Mrs. J-Dub could hit more calls with this sort of accuracy, perhaps her fantasy football team would been better than only slightly less shitty than mine. But once again, she’s dead on.  If I were a kid and saw these two moulyaks cruising my neighborhood, I’d either call every cop in town or get my daddy’s .shotgun and blow a tunnel right through them.

Reason #5) More type-casting than we can handle

Why She Says That:

In the initial installment in this series, I introduced you to a phenomenon I call “reverse typecasting.” This happens when when you see an actor who played a role in something which became part of this country’s cultural fabric, and even when you see them in something made before their face became associated with an iconic character, that’s all you can see.  We’ve already mentioned familiar faces such as Catherine “Daisy Duke” Bach and George Kennedy, and I’ve already showed you Geoffrey “Goody” Lewis as an ice cream man.  If you don’t recognize Lewis, you don’t watch a lot of Eastwood films, as he is in approximately 4,000 of them.

That notwithstanding, this movie’s cup runneth over with familiar faces. You’re going to see Jack Dodson (“Howard Sprague” from “The Andy Griffith Show”) and Vic Tayback (“Mel Sharples” from “Alice”). Speaking of “Alice,” Beth “Vera” Howland plays an uncredited role as Dodson’s wife.

On top of all that, keep your eyes peeled for a ton of character actors you know and love…like Dub Taylor and Gary Busey for starters….

Reason #6) More type-casting

Why She Says That: 

This is all about a less-familiar face belonging to another character actor named Cliff Emmich.  Billed as the “The Fat Man,” he’s the guy at the Western Union station who Jeff Bridges needs to distract by dressing up in drag.  Emmich also plays the hospital security guard in “Halloween II,” and because Mrs. J-Dub loves those movies, every October I’m subjected to those celluloid shit-piles.

Reason #7) “Why the hell didn’t they just hire Catherine ‘Daisy Duke’ Bach to be the distraction?”

Why She Says That: 

Of all the points she makes about this movie, this is the one nobody can argue with.  Let’s be honest, Jeff Bridges didn’t get his Academy Award nomination for this film based on his convincing portrayal of a bimbo. Even “The Fat Man” who who probably hasn’t had his ticket punched since Eisenhower carried his own golf clubs isn’t going to buy Bridges as a woman.  Not to mention, later on we find out Bridges’ distraction wasn’t even necessary. But on the other hand…men wearing dresses is never not funny.

Reason #8) “Why do they go to the drive-in movie? That’s the stupidest thing they do!”

Why She Says That:

The fact the “Jeff Bridges In Drag” bit has a high “comic relief” quotient saves it from being the biggest “plot-hole” in this movie. That distinction belongs to the “Drive-In Move” scene. If the idea was after the robbery to hide-our at the drive-in, they could have tried being the least bit inconspicuous.  Two guys who clearly don’t look like locals at a small-town drive-in in a twenty-year old junker…oh, and one of those guys is dressed up as the the ugliest non-fat woman since Bruce Jenner. You’d have to go back to the “A-Team” to get a bigger fail in “laying low.”

Serioulsy, they could have all been in Canada by the time the cops set-up their roadblocks.

Reason #9) “How does Goody’s suit fit Jeff Bridges.”

Why She Says That:

First of all, Geoffrey “Goody” Lewis in maybe 5’9″, and Jeff Bridges is at least six feet tall.  So, there’s no way his suit would fit him.  Second of all, there’s no reason why it should fit him because Bridges spends the whole movie wearing clothes which don’t fit that came with the car he and Eastwood stole at the gas station.

Reason #9) “Clint Eastwood buys a brand new Cadillac with cash right after the heist, and nobody figures out he might be the robber?!”

Why She Says That:

That land yacht had to cost a pretty penny, even in 1974 dollars, and nobody pieces together that the guy who just hit town buys that chrome mountain in cash…with those crisp new bills you only get from a bank…might just be involved with the robbery.  Not to mention, you would think that every car dealer within 100 miles would be on the look-out for strangers given Jeff Bridges stole that Firebird at the beginning of the movie. Don’t forget, this is small-town America where everybody knows everybody, and in that world, Clint Eastwood once again is going to fail the inconspicuous test.

Reason #10) “The stupid ending.”

Does anybody really think nobody is going to notice these two in that convertible white whale, and one of them is obviously dead?  Even Barney Fife could connect the dots with two ex-cons in a brand new Caddy with a trunk stuffed with cash.

The Gene Rayburn Memorial “Movies My Wife Hates” Poll

gene rayburn

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What your view of sports would be if you had too many concussions

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This entry was posted on January 27, 2019 by in Humor, Movies and tagged , , , , .

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