The J-Dub Gambling Challenge 2020: Saturdaius Primus!
Hello…I’m J-Dub, and I’m a degenerate gambler.
There’s really no need to give a big preamble here. Saturdaius Primus is the first of the Twelve Greatest Saturdays of the Year according to the Dubsism Liturgical Calendar. As such, that means the return of the J-Dub Gambling Challenge.
If you are not familiar with this challenge, this is all about a return to my days as a bookie. I start the season with $5,000 and I wager on college football games. I bet both sides and totals and I don’t do that stupid “money line” horseshit. Just like you, I have to factor the “juice” into all profits/losses, and you get to painlessly follow the hemorrhaging as we travel through the season.
2019 proved to be a profitable year; the bankroll mushroomed from the original five grand to a healthy $7,755. But who knows what 2020 will bring. Frankly, I don’t care. If there are games, as long as there is breath in my body, there will be gambling. That’s what I do.
Because as we are wont to say here at Dubsism…that was then, and this is now. It’s a new season, and I’ve got a new bankroll. Last year’s total gains of over $2,755 are just that…in the past Three’s an old saying in baseball about how “everybody is in first place on Opening Day;” the week of Saturdaius Primus nobody has been to the plasma center yet. In other words this is the time of year when everybody still has hope.
And that’s the beauty of the bitch goddess that is gambling; where hope can become elation or desperation on the unpredictable bounce of a weirdly-shaped ball.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER (mandated by our very own Small Town Pizza Lawyer):
Thanks to the Supreme Court, gambling is no longer illegal at Bushwood, sir. However, the Supreme Court can’t really help me unless one of them is willing to keep Mrs. J-Dub from braining me with a cast-iron skillet if she found out how many dimes I’m dropping on college football. That means that as far as she knows, all wagers are mythical in nature and this is in no way, shape, or form a gambling advice column. In other words, if you lose your own “real” money, that’s nobody’s fault but yours, so don’t yell at me when we meet at the plasma center on Monday.
Having said that, let’s get ready to gamble…
- South Alabama at Southern Mississippi (-13.5) O/U 52.5 $25 Over
- Middle Tennessee State at Army (-3) O/U 53.5 $50 Army
- Southern Methodist (-21) at Texas State O/U 69.5 $50 Southern Methodist
- Brigham Young at Navy (-3) O/U 53.5 $50 Navy, $50 Under
The Dubsism College Football Heavyweight Champ Bet:
As the current champion is Ohio State, and as of this writing the B1G Ten is not playing, it’s pretty hard to bet on games which aren’t played.
J-Dub’s Payday of the Week:
Arkansas State at Memphis (-19.5) O/U 73.5
$125 Memphis
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