Despite the changes to this year’s tournament, one thing remains the same: To win, you have to pick a better bracket than the most interesting independent sports blogger on the web!
~J-Dub
Selection Sunday is just over a week away, which means March Madness is here! The fun begins long before the first tip-off. If you’re like me, you’ve been watching the “Small” conference tournaments to see which bottom-end seed you think might pull off an upset. If you’re like me, you’ll spend the next week watching those of the “Big” conferences in the hope you’ll have an epiphany that will get you to the promised land of the “Final Four.” Again if you’re like me, at some point in the next three weeks you’ll remember how empty those hopes can be.
More importantly, March Madness brings me to the time-honored tradition here at Dubsism that serves as the demon seed for those empty epiphanies. You guessed it…all this blather means it’s time for another annual tradition here at Dubsism…our NCAA Basketball Tournament bracket challenge!
Offering a bracket challenge is one of Dubsism’s oldest traditions, but last year the Chinese Commie Flu derailed our new ritual of giving away a prize basket culled from only the finest “Dollar” stores. That practice came about because the staff here at Dubsism felt there should be prizes for our sports challenges, but since the average yearly income of a blogger is somewhere between that of a professional can recycler and a serial plasma donor…assembling a prize package becomes a big game of “Dollar Store Surprise.”
But now that we have a tournament again, we are not about to let the level of pseudo-poverty shared by bloggers be a barrier for a celebration of all things March Madness. In other words, now we finally get to give away the package we had for last year. Fret not current and future Dubsists, the addition of twelve months only ages our gift package like a fine wine; it only increases the enjoyment level the winner of our annual basketball bracket challenge will enjoy.
That’s because during this time we’ve been able to fine tune this year’s package; we’ve made it suitable for all ages. We’ve got something for the busy executive, the easily-entertained toddler, or the brain-injured adult Duke fan.
As the title implies, our chosen theme revolves around the term we all hear at this time of year…”on the bubble” For the casual fan, that’s a phrase which refers to the teams on that tenuous border of getting into the “Big Dance.” They could be in the tournament, or “Selection Sunday” could burst their bubble; hence the term…and the theme.
That being said, nobody knew more about bubbles than the American television icon and maestro of “champagne music” Lawrence Welk. Sure, most of you under the age of 146 will need to consult the interwebz to understand who Lawrence Welk was; the guy first appeared on American television in the 1950s and he remains there to this day. What matters here is Welk’s brand of “champagne music” meant he was the pre-eminent reason bubbles hit the American conscience.
The “bubble” association makes Welk a perfect theme for a bubble-related challenge. In any event, to win our prize package of crap (valued as high as $23 US dollars), you still have to pick more winners than any of the other bubble-heads out there. Since many of them are Duke fans, your odds are much better than in most other pools!
Here’s what you can win!
The winner of the Dubsism Challenge is worthy of regal status, and nothing says royalty like your very own crown signifying you are the biggest basketball head in the Dubsiverse. Shown is the 2019 model; your mileage may vary as each crown is a one-of-a-kind creation customized and bejeweled by Mrs. J-Dub.
There’s nothing quite like winning, except for when victory gets you credentialing to hang on your wall and lord over all in your domain. Sure, you could forge something by downloading that picture and running it through a graphics editor, but we’ll all know you’re still a loser unless it has J-Dub’s authentic signature on it.
Naturally, we’ll be sure to put the correct dates on the genuine article.
Here’s one thing we actually didn’t get from a dollar store. Big time executive types all have crap like this on their desks, and being a winner of our challenge means you can act like there’s some big-time stuff going on in your cubicle.
There’s “Alanis Morrissette”-level irony in the fact that you are winning a wastebasket into which every other contestant could shoot their wadded-up, busted bracket.
We really couldn’t have a “bubble-themed” challenge without giving away some bubbles, could we?
We don’t know what exactly is in it, but the Iranian guy at the airport who handed it to us ensured us it is “nothing illegal and nothing explosive.” Other than that, all we can tell is the “mystery bag” is a bit bigger than a real basketball, has a drawstring top, and clearly contains several different items.
You can’t win if you don’t play…and playing is as easy as following these steps.
1) Click on this link
2) Enter this pool credential information
3) Make your picks
*IMPORTANT:
This tournament has some significant scheduling differences from years past. Be sure to note the following (all times are U.S. Eastern Time):
4) Scoring
For each successive round, points double:
Final Four Bonus:
NEW THIS YEAR! Bracket Upset Bonus (BUB):
Here’s where guys like me who think they know something about college basketball can do some serious gambling with their picks. In order to break up the log-jam the scores from the first two rounds usually create, and to encourage the picking of upsets, the BUB adds another scoring opportunity, by adding 1 point per seeding difference when a player correctly picks a lower-seeded team to win.
Example: A player correctly picks a #12 seed to beat a #5 seed. That player would receive 7 bonus points (12 seed – 5 seed = 7 points) for that win in addition to the points they would normally get for a victory in that round (1 point for the first round, two for the second round, et cetera…)
Every year, there’s at least one “Cinderella’ who makes a run deep into the “Big Dance.” If you happen to pick the right one, a couple of upsets could dramatically increase your odds of winning! Not to mention, this gives me a reason to make an “X-Men” reference, which is an obvious attempt in appeasing Mrs J-Dub, who is a card-carrying comic-book nerd.
The Tie-Breaker:
The winner will be the player with the highest point total after the tournament concludes. If one or more players are tied following the Championship Game, the player with the tie-breaker number closest to the actual final score of the Championship Game (either over or under) will be the winner. If multiple players are still tied, the player whose picks were date/time-stamped first will be the winner.
NOTE: The date/time-stamp is updated every time a player’s picks and/or tie-breaker are edited, and nothing can be changed after the entry deadline at 11:59 A.M. Eastern U.S. time on Friday, March 19th.
5) Invite Your Friends!
This pool is open to all, so if you enter and don’t invite your crew, then enjoying the spoils of your victory won’t be nearly as enjoyable since you won’t get the feeling of having vanquished all your friends, co-workers, or anybody else you would like to annoy with a bunch of bubbles!
Best of luck… and let the carnage begin!
Got a question, comment, or just want to yell at us? Hit us up at dubsism@yahoo.com, @Dubsism on Twitter, or on our Pinterest, Tumblr, Instagram, Snapchat or Facebook pages, and be sure to bookmark Dubsism.com so you don’t miss anything from the most interesting independent sports blog on the web.
If you are short on income J-Dub – in addition to donating plasma – there are other… colloids you can donate and monetize too.
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Colloids? That’s a remarkable use of vocabulary. You certainly made the most of that GED.
The question is: You gonna put a bracket where that mouth is?
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I’m in, and I look forward to completely destroying you. Just put my name on the certificate now.
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