“I got screwed hard up on Rocky Top…” The crybabies at the University of Tennessee are at it again; they believe Heisman voting has historically been unfair to them. They believe this so fervently that the Volunteer athletic department is peppering the south with billboards and engaging in a public relations campaign promoting safety Eric… Read More Teams That Grind My Gears: The Tennessee Volunteers
Nothing can get between two guys faster than a woman. We’ve all been there; we’ve all seen friendships that survived wars torn asunder by a skirt. Earlier in the week, reports began surfacing about a rift in the Vikings’ locker room. It seems that some members of the team are sticking by Tarvaris Jackson as… Read More Favre-gasm Gone Wrong: Is King Brett I Actually a Queen?
The University of Wisconsin, the epicenter of higher learning in the same state that brought you tail-gating in sub-zero weather drinking some sort of homemade concoction from a plastic jug, has determined that exposure to alcohol is not healthy for their legions of fans. So, in their higher wisdom, they have discontinued beer ads during… Read More Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Wisconsin Bans Beer Ads During Football Games
Consider this an intervention for some shit that has gotten seriously out of control. The O.J.-style slow-speed chase of the SUV that carried King Brett I from owner Zygi Wilf’s private jet to Winter Park was bad enough. The fact that hundreds of you surrounded the streets at Winter Park on a weekday afternoon, many… Read More Open Letter to Minnesota Vikings Fans: Enough with the Favre-gasm Already
To say the Dodgers grind my gears is an exercise in understatement. I hate the Dodgers – seething, bile-spewing, eyeball-exploding hate. I have hated the Dodgers since childhood, and I will hate them until my dying breath. Even after that, I will still hate them. The Dodgers franchise is the embodiment of “warning track power.”… Read More Teams That Grind My Gears: The Los Angeles Dodgers
If nothing else, the Ohio State Penitentiary University has for far too long been amongst the elite of the Big Eleven Ten. Thanks to the “Crazed Librarian,” since 2002 the Buckeyes sport a 47-9 mark in conference play, leading to five conference titles and a national championship. In short, tOSPU has been a royal pain… Read More The Paterno Formula for Beating Ohio State
Believe it or not, there is a fine line between being a fantasy sports geek, and being a truly sad and pathetic creature worthy of only scorn, derision, and occasional pity. If you follow this link and think it’s a great idea, you have pole-vaulted across that line. Seriously, enjoying fantasy sports is one thing… Read More Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Fantasy Championship Rings
Joe Paterno has spent a lot of the last decade being hassled by officials and listening to a lot of “old” jokes. We all know every referee in the conference has had it out for JoePa ever since he was hanging effigies of them on the front door of his house (don’t think every PSU fan in… Read More Penn State ’09 – Let the Seal-Clubbings Begin
There just has to be something in the water in D.C. that gives you the “Dr. Strangelove’s Fist” level uncontrollable urge to spend money you don’t have. Now the Nationals are in on the act. For those of you who haven’t noticed, and judging by the attendance that’s most of you (thank you, Harry Doyle) the Washington Nationals just… Read More Washington Nationals: Bake Sales Are Next
I’m not going to beat around the bush here, Bronco fans. You don’t have to like the trade that sent Jay Cutler to Chicago and brought the Neckbeard to the Mile High City. You don’t have to like his 3-interception performance in his Denver debut (and even I will admit that left-handed interception against… Read More An Open Letter to Denver Broncos Fans: Kyle Orton is the Greatest Athlete in the History of Ever
Apparently, there is a rule in the blogosphere that says if you tag more than three posts with “college football,” you are required to do a pre-season ranking. Failing to do so can mean having your nose flayed, your genitals set on fire, and having to listen to Lee Corso prattle on endlessly about being… Read More The Dubsism Pre-Season College Football Rankings ‘09
Put a guy in the Hall of Fame, and next thing you know, he’s got an opinion on everything. After a while, he spends so much time ranting about whatever is putting a weed up his ass, he forgets that his diatribes should be audience-appropriate. In other words, when you decide to tee off on… Read More Listen Up, Punks! Jim Rice Has Had Just About Enough of Your Bullshit…
I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve been known to be a fantasy sports geek. But you have to admit, this is a past-time that has crept up on our sporting enjoyment like an Apache raiding party thirsty for scalps. Fantasy mentality has firmly established itself in many areas of sports discussion; nowhere more so… Read More Signs We Are Near the End of Civilization: Fantasy Football Insurance
Leave it to Giant Drum A&M Purdue to be the latest school to put names on the backs of the jerseys. And Brandon King is all for it (from JConline) “It’s cool, isn’t it? I like it,” King said. “People won’t just say, ‘Hey, No. 7!’ We all get that. ‘Can I get your wristband,… Read More Of Course, This Assumes Basic Literacy in Boiler Nation
Naturally, before you can discover that pure comedy gold, the first thing a story has to do is grab the attention of the reader. We all now have so much access to information absorbing any of it can be like filling a teacup with a fire hose. #1 – The “Hook” BERLIN (AP)—A day after winning… Read More Yeah, I’m Pretty Sure I Just Saw That Chick’s Wiener…
1980 was a watershed year in baseball history. The Philadelphia Phillies won their first championship, George Brett taught us all about hemorrhoid flare-up, and there was a convergence of some the ugliest uniforms ever to see a summer day. Lately, baseball teams have been trotting out retro togs in the guise of honoring some damn… Read More 1980 – Year of The Terrible Uniform
“Yeah, I’m looking for a Jacques Strap…” OK, time to get serious here, or at least as serious as one can get on a story about funny names. As far as fodder for fun is concerned, I thought there was no way one could beat Kyle Sackrider and Jim Bob Cooter. Man, was I wrong.… Read More The College Football All-Time Name Team
It only took one day. I thought it would be after the first Viking loss to the Packers…
This usually results in some high-octane, power-viewing, all while sneaking in the requisite pigskin reconaissance. Shuffle 30 hours worth of DVR space with a deck of DVDs, and you have a guy on a week-long classic film festival.You also have to plan carefully for just such an event. There are logistics to consider. You must… Read More Signs College Football is Coming Soon
By Bob Hamelin Remember me? My name is Bob Hamelin, and I was the American League Rookie of the Year in 1994. But my affinity for fine cooking eventually caused me to eat my way out of the league in 1998. Now that steroids are banned, aspiring ball players who want to increase their bulk… Read More Cooking With “Hamhocks”
Dubsism 