Do you live under a rock? Let’s cut through the guano here. If back in December you didn’t at least suspect that at least one of the “Ohio State Five” would never put on a Buckeye uniform again, you are naive. If after Coach Cheatypants McSweatervest bought the farm last week, you still thought all… Read More Ask The Geico Guy: Is Terrelle Pryor Leaving Ohio State a Surprise?
Does a former drill sergeant make a terrible therapist? Let’s put it this way: Up until now, during this season the only person that didn’t know Favre’s career was over was Favre. Forget about the “streak,” forget about “Weiner-gate,” forget about his usual symphony of indecision. Look at the fact he’s selling “See Ya” souvenirs… Read More Ask The Geico Guy: Is This The End For Brett Favre?
Do woodchucks chuck wood? Look, I’ll make it easy for you. I will explain this in a way almost any Auburn grad can figure out: a monstrously obvious rebus…that’s a “picture riddle” for you Plainsmen. A rabid, yet not too bright fan base… + – =
Does a woodchuck chuck wood? Let’s just cut to the chase here…Calvin Johnson and the Lions got it “prison style.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming the officials; they enforced the letter of the rule, which is exactly what they need to do. But it is the spirit of the rule that is screwed… Read More Ask the Geico Guy: Did The Detroit Lions Get Screwed?
Can soccer announcer Andres Cantor make any sport exciting? Don’t get me wrong; everybody is innocent of criminal charges until they are proven guilty. After all, I took loads of crap for defending Ben Roethlisberger against criminal charges, but there was no way I wouldn’t say the guy is a douchebag. After all, Big Ben… Read More Ask The Geico Guy: Is Jay Mariotti A Bitch?
Was Abe Lincoln honest? Not including what happened this past week, there have been seven prior negotiating sessions between the NFL owners and the Players’ Association. Including what happened this week, they’ve made no progress toward a new collective bargaining agreement (CBA). While the reasons for this may be numerous, a single vision of a… Read More Ask The Geico Guy: Will There Be an NFL Lockout in 2011?
Does a former drill instructor make a terrible therapist? Of course he does, you jackwagon! Obviously Joe Paterno is old. But he hasn’t always been old. In fact, JoePa just recently became old again. Allow me to explain; Paterno is a time-chameleon. As recently as January, JoePa wasn’t old. See, that was because Penn State… Read More Ask the Geico Guy: Is Joe Paterno Old?
Does a ten-pound bag of flour make a really big biscuit? First of all, we’re not talking about that Carlos Santana. This one is one of the most touted rookies not flinging death-bullets for the Nationals. Sadly enough for Carlos, he did nearly meet his maker at the hands of a Nat, just not Stephen… Read More Ask The Geico Guy: Is Carlos Santana Happy Adam Dunn Is In The Other League?
Does Bigfoot need a Bikini Wax? Damn straight America loves this kind of stuff. Why else would we dive into the depths of the bowels of the beast known as the New York Yankees, specifically all the way to their short-season Single-A team, the Staten Island Yankees, for today’s Schadenfreude moment (if you are a… Read More Ask The Geico Guy: Does America Love A Potential Sex Scandal?
Does a 10-pound bag of flour make a really big biscuit? He certainly seems to be as today’s installment shows Joe at a flag football game paying homage to Hans Moleman and his epic “Man Getting Hit by Football.” You really have to feel bad for the victim. It’s bad enough he is the one so shitty at even… Read More Ask The Geico Guy: Is Joe Flacco a Simpsons Fan?
Does Charlie Daniels scare the shit out of French guys acting like cowboys (note him hiding behind the cactus)? I’m pretty sure the NIT found this as a way to finally generate some interest; perhaps all they need is an official name change to the “Nad Impact Tournament.” Tuesday night was a real nut-buster jamboree,… Read More Ask The Geico Guy: Does America Love Groin Injuries?
Dubsism 