Some dates are forever burned into your memory. July 4th, 1776. December 7th, 1941. September 11th, 2001. In Minnesota, you can add August 18th, 2009 – the day King Brett I ascended to The Throne of the Court of the Purple. This is also the anniversary date of this very blog; it came to be as an outlet… Read More One Year Later, Brett Favre Is Still A Douche; Viking Fans Still Blind
Rankings by Division AFC East Any way you slice it, the Jets made a statement during last season’s playoff win in San Diego. The scary part is they have built on that team since then. Granted, they need to get the holdout situation with Darelle Revis resolved, but once they do, it will be very… Read More The Dubsism 2010 Pre-Season NFL Power Rankings
Yeah, we’ve all been here before. At least we’ve learned over the last four years how this plays out so that we can all really ignore most of this bluster and get back to what matters most: heaping scorn and derision on the false idol Vikings fans have accepted. Tuesday brought us Stage 1: The… Read More The 4th Annual Brett Favre Retirement Party – The One Where You Get to See His Dick
How many times have we been through this story? I’ll have an answer for that as soon as I can borrow NASA’s supercomputer. Favre has been a regular Waffle House; since 2002, he has talked several times about walking away from the game, only to return every goddamn time. King Brett I’s crutch this time… Read More Brett Favre to Retire: In Other News, Sun Rises In The East; Oprah Winfrey Still Fat.
First of all, I don’t mean that kind of fanstasy quarterback. I mean fantasy in its traditional sense, as in not real. Ever since Brett Favre hit Minnesota, Viking fans have been having a fantasy that this aged wonder will lead them to the championship they so desperately crave. It’s not going to happen; there’s… Read More Open Letter to Minnesota Viking Fans: Get a Better Fantasy Quarterback
In the ongoing trial involving Minnesota Vikings’ defensive tackles Kevin and Pat Williams and the weight-loss supplement StarCaps, the core question at hand is whether the NFL violated Minnesota law by suspending the two players. Granted, this case is no different from most legal cases as it involves some complexities that aren’t immediately apparent. One of the witnesses… Read More The Favre-gasm Is Now A Matter of Public Record
As if you didn’t know…as if you haven’t read this story before. Brett Favre can’t make up his mind. In other news, the sun will rise in the east, the ocean is wet, and Minnesota Viking fans are suckers. Without going into a great amount of detail, Favre is dooming the future of this franchise. The… Read More BREAKING NEWS: Favre Suddenly Indecisive
A season summed up in a single picture. A season that ends like so many other for Vikings fans, in utter disappointment. I really didn’t want it to end like this for you. Seriously, as a Philadelphia Eagle fan, I haven’t had an NFL Championship in my lifetime, in fact since the Vikings even existed.… Read More Open Letter to Minnesota Viking Fans: Are You Ready to Accept Reality Yet?
1) San Diego Chargers Why They Can Win: They are playing the best football at the right time. This also may be the most complete and balanced team in the playoffs. Why They Can’t Win: The Charger offense likely can’t survive a bad-weather game if they have to face one. Odds of Winning: 2… Read More The NFL Playoffs – The Definitive Oddsmaker’s View
What is going to happen Tuesday on the sports radio stations in the Twin Cities makes me almost sorry I used the term “full-throated” to describe previous Favre-gasms. Viking fans can’t contain themselves with the excitement over their win Monday night. What is happening right now on the local post-game radio show will continue through… Read More Favre-Gasm – The Four-Towel, “Sorry It Got On Your Face” Edition
Monday night, before the Vikings game against the Houston Texans, King Brett I said he might have a cracked rib, but that there has been no official diagnosis. In the same press conference, he said taking deep breaths caused pain, but that he won’t wear any extra protection because “the damage is done.’’ Too bad… Read More Favre-gasm: It Just Keeps Getting Better
Nothing can get between two guys faster than a woman. We’ve all been there; we’ve all seen friendships that survived wars torn asunder by a skirt. Earlier in the week, reports began surfacing about a rift in the Vikings’ locker room. It seems that some members of the team are sticking by Tarvaris Jackson as… Read More Favre-gasm Gone Wrong: Is King Brett I Actually a Queen?
Consider this an intervention for some shit that has gotten seriously out of control. The O.J.-style slow-speed chase of the SUV that carried King Brett I from owner Zygi Wilf’s private jet to Winter Park was bad enough. The fact that hundreds of you surrounded the streets at Winter Park on a weekday afternoon, many… Read More Open Letter to Minnesota Vikings Fans: Enough with the Favre-gasm Already
It only took one day. I thought it would be after the first Viking loss to the Packers…
August 18th, 2009 – the day King Brett I ascended to The Throne of the Court of the Purple.
… Read More Favre-gasm: Viking Fans Come to Terms With Their New QB
Dubsism 