While it may be January, in Minnesota that means Twins Fest, a weekend in the dead of winter dedicated to the fans of the Minnesota 9. It also means it is time for my annual “Why isn’t Bert Blyleven in the Hall of Fame?” rant. Granted, outside of Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau, the Twins roster isn’t exactly a cavalcade… Read More My Annual Bert Blyleven Rant and My Solution (The Bert Blyleven Drinking Game)
Simply stated, their owner Tom Benson is completely insane. What else explains a guy who insists on carrying an umbrella in a fucking dome?
First of all, it is time to stop blaming this guy. Yeah, his playoff record sucks. Yeah, he missed three kicks. That ignores the fact that true championship teams usually don’t need three kicks – true championship teams will convert at least one of those opportunities into a touchdowns. True championship teams don’t usually find… Read More Open Letter to San Diego Charger Fans: Norv is a Four-Letter Word
First, you must view the video concerning Colts fans’ new source of identity; “The Shoe.” I guess I should be encouraging Captain Dreadlock to crawl out of his bong long enough to post it, but it is soooooo lame I’m amazed it wasn’t done by a Viking fan. In short, in order to celebrate Indianapolis’ Super… Read More Why You Shouldn’t Cheer For…The Indianapolis Colts
A season summed up in a single picture. A season that ends like so many other for Vikings fans, in utter disappointment. I really didn’t want it to end like this for you. Seriously, as a Philadelphia Eagle fan, I haven’t had an NFL Championship in my lifetime, in fact since the Vikings even existed.… Read More Open Letter to Minnesota Viking Fans: Are You Ready to Accept Reality Yet?
As mentioned yesterday, since my Eagles’ playoff run enjoyed Dallas nearly as much as JFK, between now and Super Sunday I will be listing reasons not to care which of the contestants prevails. Today, the New Orleans Saints. Archie Manning, amongst other things, is the elder statesman of the the franchise, largely for his year… Read More Why You Shouldn’t Cheer For…The New Orleans Saints
With two weeks until the Super Bowl, it’s time somebody pointed out why nobody should root for either of these teams. Today’s reason concerns the Indianapolis Colts, more specifically the judgement of their quarterback. Now, I understand the nature of the “contractually obligated appearance,” but one really needs to exercise some judgement in this area.… Read More Why You Shouldn’t Cheer For…The Indianapolis Colts
Now that 2009 is in the books, it is time to recognize some truly great achievements in the world of sport that may otherwise go unnoticed. With that, I give you the 2009 Dubsy Awards. The Mickey Klutts Award for Unfortunate Naming It is bad enough to be accused of being a male hiding in… Read More The 2009 Dubsy Awards
1) San Diego Chargers Why They Can Win: They are playing the best football at the right time. This also may be the most complete and balanced team in the playoffs. Why They Can’t Win: The Charger offense likely can’t survive a bad-weather game if they have to face one. Odds of Winning: 2… Read More The NFL Playoffs – The Definitive Oddsmaker’s View
Two years ago, Southern Cal and Ohio State were universally regarded as being two of the elite programs in all of college football; both were on a roll of consecutive shared or outright conference titles. Two months ago, they met in a Clash of the Titans in Columbus, with one seeming like a lock to… Read More Terrelle, the Trojans, and the Battle of Thermopylae?
Let’s be honest…it is only the presence of Ohio State that keeps Michigan from being the biggest collection of perennially over-rated douchebags in the Big Eleven Ten. Llllloyd Carr got fired at Mi-shit-gan because of his five “Ls” against the Suckeyes. John Cooper got fired from Ohio State a few years back for the same… Read More Teams That Grind My Gears: The Michigan Wolverines
The word “temple” can evoke many different visions. Health fanatics love the cliché “the body is a temple.” For the people in the predominantly Jewish neighborhood I which I live, it has another meaning entirely. One thing that Temple hasn’t brought to mind in 20 years is winning football. Mind you, that wasn’t always the… Read More Is There a New “Golden” Era in North Philadelphia?
Fans of this conference are all too familiar with this situation. One upset tosses the standings into a potential collision between at least four teams, leading to the usual punditry about tie-breakers and “if team x beats team y” scenarios. How fitting was it that the catalyst upset for the 2009 Train Wreck was brought… Read More College Football Week 7 – The Week the Big Ten Formed its Annual Train Wreck
We are suckers for lists. VH-1 always manages to suck people in with those “100 greatest songs of the 80’s” nostalgia-fests. Not to mention we sports fans never met a list over which we didn’t love to drunkenly argue. There’s even a website dedicated to such listery. I’m no different; I can play moth to the candle… Read More Ten Nobel Prize Injustices and Their Equivalent Sports Injustices
Everybody remembers the story of Jack and the Beanstalk. Via a trade, Jack ends up with what is seen as a worthless “bag of magic beans,” a bag that unexpectedly yields tremendous bounty. Let it be said that Denver Bronco fans have the role of Jack nailed down; starring opposite the Neckbeard’s goose that laid… Read More An Open Letter to Denver Bronco Fans: “Neckbeard and the Beanstalk”
What is going to happen Tuesday on the sports radio stations in the Twin Cities makes me almost sorry I used the term “full-throated” to describe previous Favre-gasms. Viking fans can’t contain themselves with the excitement over their win Monday night. What is happening right now on the local post-game radio show will continue through… Read More Favre-Gasm – The Four-Towel, “Sorry It Got On Your Face” Edition
It is the beginning of October here in Minnesota, which can only mean the beginning of hockey season. Now, for some of you, that means the National Hockey League. But for a few of us lucky ones, it means the tooth-shattering bliss that is college hockey, specifically it’s best league, the Western Collegiate Hockey Association… Read More An Introduction to the Western Collegiate Hockey Association
1) Hotty Toddy Gosh Almigh…FAAACK!!! When Houston Nutt’s Ole Miss Rebels travel to Columbia for a showdown with the South Carolina ‘Cocks of the “Ol’ Ball Coach,” and you put it on national television, entertainment should abound. First of all, there’s at least three good Beavis and Butthead-types jokes in the prior sentence alone. Then there’s always… Read More College Football Week 4 – The FAAACK! Edition
Mention the movie “A Star Is Born,” and the TCM-o-phile in me comes right out. I’m not the only one; it seems that every generation feels the need to remake this classic. Legendary Hollywood mogul David O. Selznick first made this movie in 1937. Another, and undeniably the best version starred Judy Garland and James… Read More Steve Sarkisian – A Star Is Born
“Mr. Kiffin, we have some good news, and some bad news…” It’s not like Tennessee-Florida is a rivalry with enough heat in it, Lane Kiffin seriously upped the ante when he took the Volunteers’ top job. Upon arriving in Knoxville last winter, he immediately stoked Vol Nation with promises of singing “Rocky Top” in Gainesville… Read More College Football Week 3 – Stuff You Hopefully Already Know
Dubsism 