This is an an oldie, but a goodie. A few years back, three guys managed to get their hands on some Team Canada gear, and then managed to get interviewed by the sideline reporter at what appears to be a sparesly-attended football game. In which sport do these gentlemen claim to be Olympians, you ask? Hide your face… Read More And the Gold Medal in Bullshit Goes To…
Actually, there’s a whole host of reasons, but the one that really has me bugged today – Why are there so many creepy doppelgängers in Vancouver? Start with the opening ceremony. I think we all know K.D. Lang is a lesbian, but who knew Clay Aiken is one too? Then, there’s this guy. First, they’ve got him… Read More Why The Olympics Creep Me Out
Sure, it’s easy to chuckle at the malfunctioning torch during the Olympic opening ceremonies Friday night. The images were priceless; three hours of what can only be described as a First Nations version of an acid trip followed by the flawless painfully awkward lighting of the four-legged triangular cauldron.But let’s be honest; laughing at Canada is like… Read More Blame it on the Wayne
Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not making light of what happened to Nodar Kumaritashvili. It is genuinely a tragedy. But you have to understand, luge is all about riding a 50-pound sled down a frozen laundry chute at 90 miles per hour. While the closest I ever got to luge was a regular sled powered by peppermint… Read More Frankly, I’m Surprised Olympic Athletes Don’t Die More Often
Three words: Jared from Subway.
Naturally, the reason the question is even being asked is because of the uniform he is wearing in the above picture. Anybody who dons the Yankee pinstripes is automatically assumed to be one of the greatest players in the history of the game. Concomitantly, they tend to be dramatically over-rated. When they are also represented… Read More Why Is Anybody Surprised Johnny Damon is Still Unsigned?
They have ex-quarterbacks parading around in drag. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
Let’s start with my original playoff predictions: 2) Indianapolis Colts Why They Can Win: The AFC road to the Super Bowl goes through Indy. The Manning show that once was just a high-powered offense now includes a legitimate defense, and defense is what wins championships. Why They Can’t Win: The aforementioned Manning show loves to pick… Read More The Super Bowl: The Definitive Preview
Their fans love to make Youtube videos that make you want to shoot yourself in the face with a nail gun. Doubt that? Check this out. Granted, Viking fans make the worst videos, but that’s because they have the most rage issues (ASIDE: Who the hell keeps a tent in their living room? Teenage girls about… Read More Why You Shouldn’t Cheer For…The New Orleans Saints
Boise State started this run by acheiving notoriety with its “Smurf Turf” in the 90’s. It just so happens that was done at a time when this out-of-the way school was starting to garner some notice in the college football world. Next thing you know, there’s some odd damn thing on ESPN9 called the “Humanitarian… Read More Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Colored Turf
Terms like “old school” get tossed around too much. Had you tuned in any college football game in the past four years and you would have heard this phrase to describe Tim Tebow. But this doesn’t do justice to some of the guys who played the game before Tebow. We just lost one of the… Read More RIP, Tom Brookshier
There are several key storylines that all media outlets are required to discuss in the days leading up to the Super Bowl. Seriously, any media outlet, even penny-ante blogs, are required to cover the Manning family angle. Since the Colts have decided to employ a Manning, it is their fault we all have to live… Read More Why You Shouldn’t Cheer For…The Indianapolis Colts
While it may be January, in Minnesota that means Twins Fest, a weekend in the dead of winter dedicated to the fans of the Minnesota 9. It also means it is time for my annual “Why isn’t Bert Blyleven in the Hall of Fame?” rant. Granted, outside of Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau, the Twins roster isn’t exactly a cavalcade… Read More My Annual Bert Blyleven Rant and My Solution (The Bert Blyleven Drinking Game)
Simply stated, their owner Tom Benson is completely insane. What else explains a guy who insists on carrying an umbrella in a fucking dome?
First of all, it is time to stop blaming this guy. Yeah, his playoff record sucks. Yeah, he missed three kicks. That ignores the fact that true championship teams usually don’t need three kicks – true championship teams will convert at least one of those opportunities into a touchdowns. True championship teams don’t usually find… Read More Open Letter to San Diego Charger Fans: Norv is a Four-Letter Word
First, you must view the video concerning Colts fans’ new source of identity; “The Shoe.” I guess I should be encouraging Captain Dreadlock to crawl out of his bong long enough to post it, but it is soooooo lame I’m amazed it wasn’t done by a Viking fan. In short, in order to celebrate Indianapolis’ Super… Read More Why You Shouldn’t Cheer For…The Indianapolis Colts
A season summed up in a single picture. A season that ends like so many other for Vikings fans, in utter disappointment. I really didn’t want it to end like this for you. Seriously, as a Philadelphia Eagle fan, I haven’t had an NFL Championship in my lifetime, in fact since the Vikings even existed.… Read More Open Letter to Minnesota Viking Fans: Are You Ready to Accept Reality Yet?
As mentioned yesterday, since my Eagles’ playoff run enjoyed Dallas nearly as much as JFK, between now and Super Sunday I will be listing reasons not to care which of the contestants prevails. Today, the New Orleans Saints. Archie Manning, amongst other things, is the elder statesman of the the franchise, largely for his year… Read More Why You Shouldn’t Cheer For…The New Orleans Saints
With two weeks until the Super Bowl, it’s time somebody pointed out why nobody should root for either of these teams. Today’s reason concerns the Indianapolis Colts, more specifically the judgement of their quarterback. Now, I understand the nature of the “contractually obligated appearance,” but one really needs to exercise some judgement in this area.… Read More Why You Shouldn’t Cheer For…The Indianapolis Colts
Now that 2009 is in the books, it is time to recognize some truly great achievements in the world of sport that may otherwise go unnoticed. With that, I give you the 2009 Dubsy Awards. The Mickey Klutts Award for Unfortunate Naming It is bad enough to be accused of being a male hiding in… Read More The 2009 Dubsy Awards
Dubsism 