How fitting is is that Gopher Nation is already settling into hating Jerry Kill, despite the fact that all he’s done is win wherever he’s been, including beating the Gophers 34-23 at TCF Bank Stadium. Yes, the “Killer” doesn’t even have his bags unpacked yet, and there’s already a “Fire Coach Kill” Twitter feed. Why?… Read More Open Letter to Minnesota Gopher Football – Stop “Kill”-ing Your Coach
Do woodchucks chuck wood? Look, I’ll make it easy for you. I will explain this in a way almost any Auburn grad can figure out: a monstrously obvious rebus…that’s a “picture riddle” for you Plainsmen. A rabid, yet not too bright fan base… + – =
What do Cam Newton, OJ Simpson and Richard Nixon all have in common?… Read More I Still Believe in “Innocent Until Proven Guilty”
One thing that has been overlooked in the latest Randy Moss saga is that the man truly may be a visionary. Hark back to his last press conference as a Minnesota Viking; the one in which he announced that for the rest of this season he will conduct his own press conferences. Moss would be… Read More The Self-Interview: An Idea Whose Time Has Come…Maybe
Let’s start with who I am…I’m a guy who played football at the D-II college level; I’m a middle-aged professional now who has 15 years experience in management. I am an engineer, and I make a living diagnosing problems and devising solutions. If you will, here are those skills described in a quasi-BS “elevator speech”… Read More Open Letter to Football Teams Firing Their Head Coach: Why You Should Hire Me
Charley Pegler – Brewster’s Millions Charley Pegler would the perfect manager for the Cubs, as he knows how to deal apparently self-destructive people. If you don’t remember the plot, Richard Pryor plays a minor-league pitcher who inexplicably inherits a shitload of money on the proviso he wastes $30 million in 30 days. Naturally, everybody thinks… Read More The Best Movie Baseball Managers
Greatness overcomes, and greatness perseveres; it did both in the form of Joe Paterno’s 400th career win on Saturday. The momentum swing was so drastic, it felt as if Northwestern was getting blown out even though the Wildcats led Penn State by a touchdown early in the third quarter. Northwestern spent the first half marching… Read More Joe Paterno and Ted Williams: Two Guys Who’s 400 Will Be The Last
Jamie Moyer turns 48 on November 18th. Now, thanks to the Phillies cutting their ties with the veteran left-hander, he’s a free agent. The team placed him on waivers last month to clear a spot on the 40-man roster and hasten Moyer’s move to the open market. Moyer has 267 wins and 2,405 strikeouts in… Read More From One Campaign To Another: Vote Jamie Moyer in 2012!
Since we last visited this topic, there have been many changes. Tim Brewster at Minnesota did indeed bite the dust with the rare mid-season canning; while some have gotten closer to being next, while others have likely saved their skins. But just for fun, since some of the coaches who are clearly under fire are… Read More Coaches’ Death Watch: The Universal Football Edition
Lately, we’ve had a lot of controversy in sports, dust-ups requiring the almost flagrant use of cliches. To paraphrase Crash Davis from Bull Durham: “Cliches are important, get to know them. Of course they’re boring, that’s the point.” Cliches in sport are an exercise in Politico-speak; an exercise in saying things without saying things. Since… Read More Sports Cliches: What They Want You To Think vs. What They Really Mean
In our on-going quest to cover the College Football Heavyweight Champion, we have been all over the map this season. In the last calendar year, the title has changed hands five times, going from Florida, to Alabama, to South Carolina, to Kentucky, To Georgia, and now thanks to the Gator’s overtime win at the World’s… Read More I’ve Got Five…Do I Hear Six?
Either ESPN’s Chris McKendry just uh…gagged on this or it is the Freudian slip of all time. Either way, there’s much hilarity at the 21 second mark. Of course, the fact that I’m making Roethlisberger jokes has nothing to do with the fact that Big Ben’s performance last night cocked my fantasy football team…
Seriously, when it comes to the Minnesota Vikings, I’m getting tired of giving the “I Told You So Speech.” The very first post in the history of this blog was a rant about the attention being paid to a beat-up “has been” who stood little chance of getting the Vikings into the Super Bowl. Even… Read More The “I Told You So” Speech on Randy Moss – The Breakdown
It may be that I finally have become the grumpy old man (it doesn’t help that I idolize Joe Paterno), but given some recent past events, I think we are witnessing the destruction of what was once the wonder of sports. Honestly, I’m a middle-aged guy whose formative years were in the late 70’s and… Read More Why Sports Will Suck In The Future
If you recall, we here at Dubsism have gone through the history of college football to determine a number #1 team in the style that boxing uses, namely, you are #1 until somebody beats you, then that team becomes #1. Last week, for the first time ever, the heavyweight title of College Football belonged to… Read More The “World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party” Is Now A Title Fight
In today’s installment of why fat guys can still be world-class athletes, what better example than baseball? After all, not only are we on the cusp of the World Series, but the greatest baseball player in the history of ever was decidedly a fat guy. For your perusal, here is the full roster for a… Read More The All-Time, All Fat Guy Baseball Team
I’ll be honest; I don’t really give a shit about the Washington Redskins because, well, let’s be even more honest, there hasn’t been a reason to pay attention to them in close to twenty years. But they have a rabid and devoted fan base and I share something with at least one member of that… Read More Open Letter To Albert Haynesworth: “You’re a Washed-Up Has-Been Asshole”
We have a critical problem in this country. We have far too many people who think they are perfectly qualified for jobs that they don’t have the first clue how to do. You can thank video games for that. Would you pay to listen to a Guitar Hero concert? Would you trust a pilot trained… Read More Open Letter To Football Fans: You Could Not Be A Coach Despite How Good You Are At Madden
Who doesn’t know the internet is the “wild west” for anonymous slander and blatant nastiness? Who wouldn’t figure out that even a Joe Blow opening a Twitter account with a “come and get me” invitation to every blowhard vitriol dealer with a keyboard is simply asking for trouble. Add to that the summer-long LeBron fest… Read More In 25 Words Or Less, LeBron James Is Either A Whiner Or An Idiot Because…
So, a professional athlete who is worth millions of dollars can’t get a woman. That officially makes going to the gym today exceptionally pointless. If T.O.’s washboards abs and seven-figure salary can’t get him laid, why the hell am I killing myself on the Stairmaster? Flamboyant footballer Terrell Owens has tapped a matchmaking service to… Read More Signs We Are Near The End Of Civilization: Terrell Owens Hires “Find-A-Date”
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